Why I Write What I Write

various cups of espresso in colorful cups on spilled coffee beans, from above I tend to write some heavy stuff here in this place of mine. And I usually try to balance my posts with a bit of lightness that gives relief of the usual depth that resonates in my words and my message. I think about how I live my life, laced with long meaningful conversations with loved ones about life’s circumstances that fall hard and heavy- and when I sit at my laptop with prayer for what to write next…

The passion to find faith and perspective in the gritty stuff pours out.

But?

I spend much of my time laughing. Being absolutely goofy. And for some reason, it doesn’t come flooding through my thoughts when I open my heart to write.  I have been wrestling with this idea, that laughter threads through my days, and yet it doesn’t peak here. I have wondered if I am missing that powerful piece of encouragement in this place I call home. Does my writing truly reflect the entirety of my life? Or am I missing out on a part of it that can lift and sooth and lighten many hearts…

I mean, who doesn’t want to see a picture of my daughter’s puke on the cement of the Ohio State Fairgrounds?

Puke from Cassidy

I have evidence to believe that my “Chrissy Hug” triggers giggles in the best ways, and if you don’t believe me- come on over and see for yourself. That awkward and completely inappropriate invasion of your boundaries is sure to produce a nervous chuckle or two…

 

Chrissy Hug .

I use humor all the time- to soften the blows, engage the quiet ones, break the ice, lighten the loads, crack the defenses, lift the weary, and release the tension. There’s something to be said about the power of this outlet, and I discovered in my self-examination, that I too, find immense joy and relief in the hilarious. Lets face it…

Sometimes a good laugh is really all you need.

In real life?  If you hung around long enough (about three minutes) you would probably see a lot of funny.  Seriously.  Snort laugh out loud ’til you pee funny.  I do funny good.  I really really do!   Ask anyone.  Do it!

So I decided to ask my friends on Facebook, in hopes to get some good evidence of my funny side!  And although I received some golden nuggets of goofiness, I was drenched with the most beautiful reflections of my truest desire and passion…

To encourage.

So I cried, and basked in the goodness as I read people’s captivating words and beautiful responses to my request.

And then I realized that although I live in the land of humor, when I sit to bare my heart through my words…

I go to a different place within.

The corners of my heart illuminate with a profound passion for depth in a world that sometimes denies and dismisses it. The truth is, we all need to go ‘there’ because living our lives sometimes takes us to the trenches. And although humor can ignite the flame of light… it doesn’t have the power to enlighten the darkness for long. Laughter lifts… but it doesn’t carry.

I suppose I want to focus on what carries.

The stuff that stays around long after the laughter.

So although you can find some quirky snippets of my humor sewn purposefully through my posts…

I believe my truest truth lies in the deep.

Always has, always will.

THIS is why I write.

I pray you continue to go ‘there’ with me.

And I pray it  carries you long after the laughter.

 

Author Signature

Comments

  1. says

    Chris, I totally can be goofy and funny in real life, but sometimes I wonder if it comes through in my own writing, as well. Trust me, I have asked myself this question enough, too. And I definitely think I have witnessed a bit of the funnier side and here and there and hope to see more here, as well. Love you and all sides of you, my friend 🙂 xoxo!!

  2. says

    You’re my refreshing ocean breeze
    My lighthouse and my lifeboat
    A hurricane in my defence
    Someone who helps me stay afloat

    You’re my cocoa Kitty buddy
    Snuggling up but planning traps
    Snowball fights that last for days
    Bungee ropes and sneak-attacks

    You’re a light when all seems dark
    Kindly taking time to teach
    Deep-down truths and spirit-knowledge
    Bringing close things I can’t reach

    You bring your smile to all my joys
    Console me when I curse the sky
    So glad you don’t mind me being near
    Cos I just seem to make you laugh or cry

    <3

    • says

      Now I have the “ugly cry” face!!!! Make up smeared… blubbery mess. So much for getting to church on time. I am just… oh Lizzi!!! I sit here wordless, breathless… and filled with so much love, joy and gratitude I am going to BURST!!!

      Please come over? I am going to tackle you down, tickle you and cry and scream and laugh and Chrissy hug you until you literally turn the BRIGHTEST color of red. And I won’t let go… even when you do that awkward squirm and say ‘okay then’… nope. I will squeeze harder. And you will nervously chuckle and then hold your breath, while I proceed to kiss you all over your face.

      You’re coming, right? 🙂 I’m waiting!!!!

    • says

      I’m going to copy this and print it and frame it… right next to me is my glittery kitty card and all my beautiful wonderful Lizzi gifts… ahh… (I need to open those sticky notes and USE them, don’t I? lol) I save everything you send. Always will.

      Oh, how I adore you… <3

      • says

        Yes, yes, YES! You’re meant to use them! To write your emoticons on and stick them around your computer, if nothing else! USE THEM 😀 You will be fulfilling their destiny 😀

        *MWAAAAAHtackleglomphugs*

        • says

          Snickers… I know tigger. I need to open those adorable stickies!! AND? Use my little tigger book for notes!!! My magnet went up immediately. <3 I cried when I saw that... not sure if you noticed on my slow mo video. lol Geesh.

    • says

      I’m so grateful we have connected my dear friend. I’m also even more blessed in knowing that you see my heart in everything I write. Oh, how I love that Alison. PS: I see yours too, and I love you all the more for it. XOXO

  3. says

    Chris,

    I’m always with you!

    I stopped blogging because I didn’t want to always put out sad things but it’s such a great way of expression. The people that read it are more genuine than the people around me 🙂
    Write all you want! Hugs and lots of love my amazing friend!

    • says

      I want MORE of your writing Manal! You have a voice that no one else does… and it is SO POWERFUL. I want to learn more, and dig deep in the trenches with you my friend. Your story and your heart NEED to be read. Every time I read one of your posts- my heart opens a new piece that has never been opened before. There is so much purpose in that… just know you are a gift. And when you do write- there are many who are hugely affected by it. 🙂

      I’m so grateful for you, for our connection. You bless me so, my friend. XOXO

  4. says

    I love the “feel” of your posts Chris. Always encouraging and reminds me that there is hope and love everywhere!
    It’s a bit weird on my case though, I “think” I’m funnier when I’m sad. I can think of a lot of funny things to say when I’m feeling down. :/

  5. says

    I’m not going anywhere and will definitely, wholeheartedly continue to follow you to where you go – that place that carries, and which without a doubt carried me with your words this past year. I too have grappled with this same notion. I think (hope?) I am funny IRL, and I do try to inject humor into my posts, but I also think I tend to write from the heart “better.” I love how you say, “laughter lifts, but it doesn’t carry.” You’re right and I’m so thankful you are both a laugher AND a carrier — that is a rare gift and it’s a privilege to be the recipient of it. 🙂

    • says

      OH Emily… how your words bless me SO much. To think I played any part of carrying you through such a season of your life makes me so incredibly happy. I am so grateful we have connected, and I truly am honored to lift or carry you in any way I can. You are a gift- with your strength and your amazing courage in sharing your story, your heart. AND I am lifted and carried by all that you share through it all. XO

  6. says

    I think I’m a lot more insane and zany in real life. My 5th grade teacher said it the best: “Your writing is so sad, but you’re not. Your writing is so sad, so that you don’t have to be.”
    I find it still rings true.
    Also, I’m VERY immature and vulgar in real life. Doesn’t always translate..

    • says

      I cannot WAIT to see that immature and vulgar side to you in REAL LIFE T!!! Oh girl… I didn’t think I could love you more… but perhaps our DISNEY weekend will prove me wrong! 😉

      I love that- I see your writing as deep and full of emotion. That well within us both comes out in our ‘art’ just as it should.

  7. says

    I think that somehow I knew you were a person who laughed often and with a contagious laugh (I think it was from your purse video or maybe the van one!)!!
    Those little glimpses of you are how I picture you when I read your posts so it is the perfect mix of you with a smile even when you are baring your soul!!!

    • says

      Oh Kim!! I just LOVE that you can feel my ‘light side’ through my ‘heavy words’!!! Your perspective is such a blessing to me! I’m so so glad you can see those little glimpses of me… 🙂

  8. says

    I definitely carry the silly into my blog. I love reading posts like yours that explore the deep places of our hearts and souls. I often find myself wishing I had written such posts. because the truth is, that is not always where my strongest writing rests…. others do it so much better than I. I feel like a poser on their dance floor – doing the Elaine dance instead of all the right moves! Ha.
    but sometimes I am inspired and it does flow. I am trying to encourage that more. I wanted my blog to be a place that was just light and could brighten peoples days (because you know us Christians are not always known as “fun”. pshaw!), but I think I am ready to move onto some deeper things too.

    But I do think that this life is definitely a tough balancing act, and I normally prefer to use laughter as my balance pole when walking that tightrope. 🙂

    • says

      Do you know that I struggle with the SAME Elaine dance with my humor!!! Just the opposite!! Isn’t that interesting Leslie? That is just too cool how you said that- because it is exactly how I feel about my humor and writing seems more natural in the ‘deep’ than in the humor… but I WANT to go there sometimes, cause it’s ME!!

      Girl, your blog is all about light. And you have thrown in some beautiful pieces of deep too. I think you have created the PERFECT place for people to brighten people’s day. Us Christians need to show some ‘FUN’!!!

  9. says

    I LOVE when humor shines through, and gosh woman, you are one funny lady. You’re so right to note that humor isn’t substance-less. It’s invigorating. It’s healing. It’s downright good for the soul.

    So, do I want to see pictures of puke and awkward Chrissy hugs? Why, yes I do. (Note, I don’t actually want to be anywhere NEAR the puke, but I’d be happy to one day be the recipient of that hug.)

    • says

      HA!! Oh that is too funny Robin!! Promise I won’t push you near her puke, but I also promise that someday- you will surely be a recipient of my CHRISSY HUG!!! XOXO

  10. says

    One of my favorite things about reading you here and have you as a person as a constant in my FB stream is that I get the best of both worlds and all the benefits of knowing you! So glad to know you and get to read you all the time 🙂

  11. says

    I think the beauty of writing is that allows you to show a side of yourself that might not come through in the everyday. It allows you to sit and consider your words before you say them; it allows a type of vulnerability that many people probably are not comfortable with (or as comfortable) “in person”. It almost allows people who even know you quite well to get to know you even better.

    • says

      Love that Bev!! So beautifully said my friend. SO many of my close close in real life friends see this deeper side of my perspective that I don’t normally share with them. There’s either no time or other issues take precedence… so I totally get what you are saying. TRUTH!

    • says

      Thank you so much Tracie! Your words are such a blessing to me. I am praying for you during this time of loss, and I am celebrating too- that your beloved grandma is dancing in Heaven! You have a new guardian angel, my friend. XOXO

  12. says

    I love to read your words because of the depth and feeling and sometimes the rawness of them. You speak in such a unique voice and it is completely engaging. The honesty and humility of it take me back many times and I sit in awe thinking of how you can put so much out there. I, and obviously I’m not alone, love that you are able to do what you do. I think I’ve said it before – it’s a blessing (to you and to your readers) that you take the time to share your heart the way you do.

    • says

      OH Stephanie! Your comment means the WORLD to me!! Gosh, I have read your gorgeous words three times and I am so deeply blessed by your encouragement. Thank you so so much. XOXO

    • says

      OH yeah!!! MY TOE!!!! How could I forget my TOE GRIND??!!! Did you know that TOE was my first selfie I took with my new phone? Just goes to show ya how real I must be. In a sick and twisted and brutally vulgar kind of way. LOL

  13. says

    No need to explain yourself…….I have the privilege of reading both of your sides- through your encouraging posts and our hilarious messages. You’re amazing. That is all.

    • says

      I love that the people that know me best – know that I can be pretty damn funny. I love that I can have the same privilege of knowing and being BLESSED by both of YOUR sides too, my gorgeous friend. Oh, how I love you and ALL of your gifts. Seriously. And I LOVE that you are sharing both sides with the world now too… God will BLESS both. I’m sure of that. XOXO

  14. says

    I love seeing your humor and light on Facebook, and reading your deep thoughts and wisdom here. You are both of those women, even though just one would be more than enough.

    • says

      AW… thank so much Dana!!! It’s kinda cool I get the best of both worlds!! I can get my crazy on through FB posts and then dive deep here. It works for me!!

  15. says

    Twins, twins, twins. And that hug? I do that all the time. Often, the response is “you’re so silly, Cristina”. Of course, but you’ll remember that someone hugged you with their whole body.

    Humor has gotten me out of many a dark place, and I don’t think that will change. Hell I only need to look at my size 8 feet to laugh. God made me 4’11” with HUGE feet – comedy at it’s finest. You are the best light on FB. Keep it up. Hugging your whole body!

    • says

      SHUT UP!!! Ohmygosh how I LOVE that you hug like I do!!! And your adorable feet are God’s way of saying “You YOU are UNIQUE and fearfully and wonderfully made” As He perhaps chuckles a bit. 😉 I love that we are twins. I’m deeply honored that this is so, because I think the WORLD of you Cristina!!

      And “You are the best light on FB” … wow. SO touched by that my friend. Thank you so so much. <3

  16. says

    I love that you pour your heart out here. It’s not always hilarious but obviously it’s what you and your readers need. It just goes to show that we are multifaceted and have many layers.

    • says

      Apparently, it’s where I need to be- in this on line world and I do pray it somehow touches anyone who reads my words Stephanie!! We are SO multifaceted and we all have many layers indeed. It’s remarkable really, when you think about it. 🙂

  17. says

    Chris, I think you’ve got a great handle on both sides of your personality. You know how to be funny when humor is called for, but you know how to be serious when the situation warrants. The nice things is that humor doesn’t always transfer well to the written/online world; but genuineness always does. You, my friend, are genuine.

    • says

      Oh Rabia! I love your insight and beautiful encouragement. Thank you, my friend. You are so right about “humor not always transferring well to the written/online world, but genuineness always does…” I just love that. 🙂

  18. says

    Hi Chris! I feel the same way. I can be pretty silly myself, but that doesn’t come out in my writing much at all.
    I think about the bible and the recounting of Christ’s life. It never said that Jesus laughed. But he was human, so of course he did. I suppose the silly stuff isn’t the most important, and it may even distract from the message. So…you are in good company.
    Keep laughing though!!
    Blessings,
    Ceil

    • says

      I love that Ceil! I have never thought about how Christ’s life never reflected laughter and humor. Wow. But you are right, there must have been both because he was human after all. But yes, the message is too important to distract from it. You and me both seem to realize what’s most important to him. I do love the company I am in with you, Ceil! SO glad we connected! XO

  19. says

    I understand this so well. I too am quite a goof ball in real life, and while I like to offer a witty remark here and there on my blog, I would never consider myself a humor writer. I think the key is that you pray before you sit down to write, and God is working through you. He obviously wants you to share your deepest truths with us.

    • says

      I love that you are a goofball in real life too!!! YAY!!! And yes- I believe God is leading me in my writing, and although I do believe I CRACK HIM UP from time to time and the good Lord gave me some serious HUMOR, (:) ) I think He’s got some kind of plan with each post I write. I keep trusting in Him through every word. I know you get this, my friend. And I love that you do. XOXO

  20. says

    Laughter is so vital to our living, and yet we ignore it often. Thanks for the reminder, that hug made me smile! I hope you continue to find the strength you do in writing.

    • says

      Thanks so much Tarana!! Laughter is really powerful, and Lord knows I use it often!! I love how you put that- “…find the strength you do in writing”. Yes, I do find strength in writing, and I never looked at it that way. Thank you for that!

  21. says

    I love that you asked for this–you are smart in the most real way! And Chris, I have never once doubted that if we ever meet up in real life, our time will be filled with gut-busting laughs!!

    • says

      I was just so curious and it was really eating at me about the dichotomy in my life!! Girl, there will be some SERIOUS gut-busting laughs!! And be ready for me to wrap you with my Chrissy Hug the minute I see you!!!! (Oh, how I hope it comes soon!)

  22. says

    I’ve never doubted your funny side as evidenced by the comments you leave on my blog. And, that said, I admire how you listen to your heart and write what it speaks to you to write. I like to write funny and admit I would be scared to bare my serious side on my blog.

    • says

      Aw thanks so much Katy!! Hey- I’ve got a GREAT IDEA!!! Wanna bear your serious side here? HERE? You my friend are CHALLENGED!!!! Write anything heavy… perhaps about your faith? Anything your heart wants to get ‘out’. Whatdoyasay? I would be so so honored…

      No pressure! Just think about it. <3

      • says

        Chris,

        I like that idea! I will definitely think about it. Likewise, if you ever have some humor that might not be the best fit for your blog, think about sharing your hilarity on my blog! You’re always welcome.

        Katy

  23. says

    It is funny what comes out of us when we sit down to write. I like to think that God leads us, Chris. There is a broken and hurting world out there, and there are so many ways to encourage them. I write the deeper, philosophical type of posts like yours. I love to read them, too. But I also love a truly funny blogger, too. I write what I do, because I truly wish I had learned these things at a much younger age. We are not always surrounded by great role models or mentors, but with the internet, we can be exposed to so much more…in a good way. Being a little older, I just want to help and inspire others as much as I can, and like you, I tend to have to go deep for that. I am completely convinced that God will use us, all of us. Keep shining your light, my beautiful friend. Keep shining.

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