Today I am blessed with the wise words of my dear friends Kathy and Melinda from Mothering From Scratch! Their site is one of encouragement and inspiration through all their posts and Momtor contributors alike. If you haven’t stopped by their place, you are truly missing out on some rich blessings. They are a treasure to take in and their insights on motherhood and their strong faith shine in every post. Today they share a convicting message worthy of all bloggers and anyone really… conversations that need deleting.
The Party Invite Moms Should Refuse
by Kathy Helgemo and Melinda Means, Mothering From Scratch
There’s a party going on.
Everyone has something in common.
Conversations flow freely.
And it’s a gathering you can join 24 hours a day.
The environment is comfortable and anonymous — making it feel safe to let it all hang out.
You have a fabulous time and make tons of new friends.
But when you leave the party, you don’t feel energized or refreshed. Instead, you feel drained and ashamed.
We’re not talking about the hangover from a wild night in Vegas.
No. We’re talking about what often happens in the online Mommy World. We readily acknowledge that very healthy and encouraging mom connections are made online. We are both better for the wisdom and friendships we’ve developed with some amazing mamas.
But there’s a dark temptation and a tantalizing force associated with the mommy online experience.
Misery loves company — and lots of it. Venting about the trials and annoyances of motherhood is not new. Women have been doing it for centuries. However, those conversations occurred between two close friends. Those gripes were “between you, me and the fencepost.” When mothers vent now it’s between you, me and all of cyberspace. And if our children aren’t old enough to read now, they. will. be.
The seemingly harmless post about our child’s annoying habit that gets tons of comments and public commiseration has the potential to inflict plenty of harm when the child stumbles upon it.
This takes place in text and Facebook messages — not just our blogs. Just imagine that every post we write, every text we send, every Facebook status we post was placed in a time capsule. And we have to give it to our children when they turn 16.
That will sober us up — quick.
Our venting can affect our children and families in other ways as well — even if they never see our rantings. Because while what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas (not really), our negativity grows virally. The more we rant and rave and it’s validated, the more we project that pessimism and resentment into our relationships with our children.
Sometimes we tend to think that if something is true, it’s okay to type it. But just because it’s true doesn’t mean it’s productive or loving.
Let’s do ourselves, our husbands and our children a favor. Let’s a have a Deleting Party! Why don’t we go back in our phone, Facebook, blog, Twitter and other social media histories and delete anything that we wouldn’t feel comfortable showing to our family members.
Unsure of how to delete something? Here’s help:
Need to get in the party mood? Here’s a little help from Kool & the Gang. Party on, Mamas!