As a stay at home mother, I get the privilege, the honor, and the laborious luxury to experience, endure, and edify each and every phase my kiddos go through- all day…every day. These “seasons of growth” consist of any and all stages throughout a child’s life as they grow and thrive on changes that occur through their ongoing years of development. As each milestone passes, the basic neediness of the child rises for the mom to be “present” at all times …as any one of these newfound trends in child rearing sucks you into the mommy world for days and possibly weeks on end. It’s the call of the mother to care for, intervene, teach, and persevere through each trying obstacle on the motherhood course. I’m sure the turns and trials only get harder and more complicated as our children get older, but for now I am in the beginning stages of this jolly ol’ journey.
From teething to toddling…from tantrums to teasing, the list goes on and on and on. We have landed on the infamous “tummy ache” in our home with my second child. As a mother, you try to “label” what it is- and investigate the cause or at least give it some explanation: “My child is going through blah blah blah…” usually giving it a definition of sorts that justifies the unwanted and unacceptable behavior that causes great stress of the mother. With my son’s “tummy ache” I begin the quest.
After an Easter Holiday of running around Grandma and Grandpa’s farm and eating almost 23 pounds (rounding up) of sugar, I can deduct that the tummy ache is quite explainable. Too much crap and too much fun. Easily acceptable. Done. Needy boy needs rest and a body cleanse. But apparently he needs more…
He begs and pleads for cuddle time on the couch and his desperate desire is to watch home videos of his long gone baby days.
I succumb to his desire, as I plead guilty of indulging my child when he feels rotten. So we spend the day off of school to snuggle and smile at those precious days of infancy.
This continues throughout the day… and well into the night. Needy boy is moaning and wanting ‘love’ constantly…
However, when it’s time for soccer, needy boy springs up and grabs his coat and says he’s “ALL BETTER”. Hmmm…
I proceed to explain his circumstances, as such that his tummy has healed and a day of rest has clearly been the remedy he needed to get back into life! On to soccer, while I watch him devour the field and dominate the ball for an hour! YAY!
On to errands, as needy boy starts to complain of his tummy again and whines like a fire engine truck going by at top speed. Hmmm.
Diagnosis: Too much running around. Remedy: Will get him back home to rest yet again.
Needy boy cries, “I wanna watch more videos and snuggle mommy!”
No. Off to bed young man. But needy boy cries, “I wanna sleep with you, mommy!”
No. Off to bed young man.
Next day…repeat of the exact same, except with higher pitched whining as I insist on him going to school and promise more video time after he has a great day. He proclaims that since his sister gets to miss so much school because of her tummy aches, he should too. (Another Ah ha moment) He mopes on to school, with groans and moans and tears.
After school, he continues neediness. I succumb, as I realize that his need is more than tummy healing. We are on day 3 of this high maintenance stage. I just finished another round of videos and snuggling, and I stand my ground on going to school and him sleeping in his own bed. I am watching his junk intake and he is sleeping much later than usual every morning, to which I am allowing because apparently he needs it. We will soak in this new phase as long as we have to, sometimes you just gotta ride the motherhood wave with the patience of a saint (which I do NOT have) and the strength of a warrior (which I do NOT have).
As these days have unfolded, I now can identify and give that good ol’ justifiable explanation… something every mother searches for in her quest for intervention, teaching, caring for and persevering through whatever the trial may be.
My boy is going through some growing emotional separation anxiety needing to have his mommy baby longing jealous of sister’s attention, extra needy phase.
And as I fight with utmost strength to push it all away and dismiss it with a forceful direction, I realize that I possibly can hold this season in my arms and embrace the blessing of being in it with him. The phase will come much too soon, when he will NOT want to be with me and fight to the death preventing any embrace at all.
Yes. As he hangs on me now, awaiting more “momma love” time…I will end this post and go snuggle with my baby boy.