Devotional Diary: Seasons

Devotional Diary  Seasons This is my season of stillness and stirring.  I love being in it, and yet at times I try to fight it as well.  Sometimes I want to push through it and land in the next… I stir anxiously awaiting what God has in store for me.  But for some reason, and there IS a reason- God has allowed my busy life to somehow land in this peaceful place, and although the wind comes in to rustle the days now and then- I find plenty of peace.  I am wrapped in layers of memories and moments that drift into my mind, slowly unraveling on pages bringing such joy to my heart.  This season sacrifices many people and purposes I have had to release, in order to fulfill its mission.  There will always be that.  No matter the season, the mission, the direction we face.  Sacrifice is necessary, most unfortunately- but never unexpectedly.

In my stillness, lies wisdom gained from years gone by, slowly peeking it’s way through.  Pleasant thoughts and deep doubts thread meticulous and murky reflections of these years.  Opened vastness to pursue, bringing a new vitality flooding my pours from within.  In this season, I am discovering more life bubbling up into my words with vigor as God ministers to my thoughts, my prayers, and my perspective.  I have spent my entire life going, moving, and doing.  I found purpose in those seasons as well.  I know that now.  I didn’t then.

Some seasons I endured ‘Suffering’ and “Surviving”.  I have muddled through seasons of “Stagnating” and “Starving” as well.  Others?  “Seeking” and “Sanctity” and “Serving.”  Then there were those seasons most difficult in “Spiraling”, “Searching” and eventually “Surrendering”.

Many hold shame and pain and brokenness.  Some hold hope and vitality and light.  All hold me.

I am just now learning to embrace the seasons of my life.  I wish I knew that then.  So many times I squirmed and struggled to break free from the season that engulfed me and kept me captive for months, sometimes years. Those seasons I desperately begged to escape, or those seasons I was so lost, I couldn’t concede to its value.   I wish I knew then, that there was meaning behind each one.  I wish I knew then, that my history would eventually bring forth new layers of who I was to be.  Oh, how I wish I could go back and understand that truth.  But always in time, we learn.

Seasons change their currents as often as the tides.  So I try to embrace my stillness, realizing it may end abruptly.  I stir for more, and wonder where it will lead me.  I dream.  I celebrate this time as a gift.  I choose to fill it with prayer and deep introspection, in hopes to use my past seasons for good, for gain, for His Glory.

I don’t know what season will be next…

I am constantly peering over the edge.

A bit unsettled at what may come…

But I won’t let that restlessness take me.  I won’t fight the beautiful barricades that hold my world together in this moment.

I will delight in this place.  This season.  I have more passion and potential in stillness than I have ever had in motion.  The souls I have seen, felt, heard.  This.  I am basking in its beauty.

And I have quiet confidence, that God will deliver His Plan for the next season in His Perfect time.

What season are you in right now? 

Suffering?

Starving?

Spiraling?

Searching?

Surviving?

Sacrificing?

Oh friends, I pray you can embrace where you are and believe that whatever season you may be in, there is and always will be purpose behind it.

“To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.”  Ecclesiastes 3:1

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Comments

  1. says

    For everything there is a season
    Unto each a rhyme and reason
    Each season surely will divest
    Their secrets, as we in them rest

    I do love your writing.

    And I love how you make the text fit the words and the feel of the piece. That’s some smart editing right there.

  2. says

    I like the idea of going through seasons in life. We go through so many, don’t we? I feel like I’m in a season of Opportunity right now. And while it’s exciting, it’s also kind of scary. Who knows which season this will lead to…

    • says

      That is an EXCITING season to be in, Jen!!! I am still praying about your book… and I wonder often, how that is coming along? This is a huge season of opportunity for you- I feel it – I know it- I see it. 🙂

  3. says

    I love your wisdom and thinking here. I will say that I am trying to be more in the here and not rush into the next season of my life so to speak, but love how you are embracing it and not fretting it so to speak. Thanks for sharing Chris and Happy Sunday now, too!! 🙂

  4. says

    I talk about this a lot..the seasons of life. There’s actually a Led Zeppelin song that talks about it. Google the lyrics to “The Rain Song.” “I’ve felt the coldness of my wint-er-er
    I never thought, it would ever go-oo-o”
    Anyway! I usually have my winters in winter, go figure, but sometimes they happen in summer too.
    I feel like I’m in a Searching Season.

    • says

      I will definitely have to Google those lyrics!! And a season of searching can be quite exciting… especially when it’s someone like you and the depths in which you live. I pray you find great treasures in that journey, love. <3

  5. says

    ***Some seasons I endured ‘Suffering’ and “Surviving”. I have muddled through seasons of “Stagnating” and “Starving” as well. Others? “Seeking” and “Sanctity” and “Serving.” Then there were those seasons most difficult in “Spiraling”, “Searching” and eventually “Surrendering”.***

    Such truth in your writing–insight–beauty–God’s breath.

    I feel the words inside….

    I love the alliteration of the S’s…Seek, Serve, Suffer, Starve, stagnate.

    I feel ALL OF THEM…Felt all of them. Still. Still.

    But the “Surrendering” is the one that finally saved me from drowning, dying.

    Chris, you are a prayer in the universe.

    Truly.

    Xxx

    • says

      Oh Kim… your words are so precious to me. Always so powerful… full of depth and beauty, even in despair.

      I love your strength- and your insight- and your raw and real words. I swear, I am just so blessed every time you take in some of me, and give back some of you.

      Truly blessed.

    • says

      Nothing NOTHING to DO???? SOAK IT IN GIRL!!! I sure hope you did exactly that!! I think searching is such a vital season…. there is so much hope and dreaming and longing that goes with it.

      I pray you embrace what your looking for… and if you don’t know yet what that is? I know that will come too.

  6. says

    I want to be in a season of just loving life but there are many times that I feel like I’m just surviving which is ridiculous because it’s never anything life threatening so maybe it’s just a mindset that I need to work on a bit harder.

    • says

      Ya know- I don’t think it matters if you are going through something intense or not- sometimes, those seasons of just going through the motions in “survival mode” are part of a transition to another season that will need more intention and energy to embrace. With intention comes more purpose, I do believe…

      And sometimes we aren’t aware of it’s ‘purpose’ while we survive, until later when things change into something that helps us reflect back on that season- and perhaps utilize it for more than what we realized it was. Does that make sense? (Rambling here!) Oy. 😉

  7. says

    Wow, this was truly poetic. I am walking away from this with a sense of serenity. Funny, today I was commenting on another blogging friend’s post and tried to tell her how her post made me feel, but not quite successfully. Then I read your post and found the perfect description for it:: In my stillness, lies wisdom gained from years gone by.

    • says

      Oh how I love that you found that response here… and how they string together so nicely Katia!

      There is so much beautiful wisdom that comes forth when we finally settle into a new season and have the opportunity to truly reflect on our lives…

      I just love that. I hope everyone has those seasons to really delve into all the lessons learned in their past seasons. It sure makes like a lot more meaningful…

  8. says

    Such beautiful words. My brother wrote a song called Seasons of My Life. There are many. Some good, some bad, some both. I am learning still to embrace the season I find myself in. Love your posts.

    • says

      Oh Laurie- I would love to see the lyrics to your brother’s song. It’s really a constant challenge to embrace RIGHT where we are, isn’t it? Yeah… I know. I think this is the first time ever I have found peace in my place.

      BUT- it’s an easy place to be in. So there’s that. 😉

  9. says

    SSSF, I don’t know where I am, luckily, our Lord understands my personality is a wanderer… I do know right now what I need to get accomplished & I pray A LOT…. LOVE this post & you. XO. ~A~

    • says

      You are in such a difficult season, my sweet swearing soul sister!!! (yep- said it! YOWZA!!!)

      Surviving? Sacrificing? Searching? Perhaps many more too…

      I believe God will be ministering so much to your heart as you continue to trudge through this time, sweet love. I love that you are open to His love and guidance.

      I for one, can’t WAIT to see what He has planned for you!!

  10. says

    I think it takes a large amount of equanimity to be in a challenging season, either physically or emotionally – and embrace the challenge. And have the faith to know that it’s a building block for what will come next. I think this is something that can take a lifetime. I think this is something that if we gained awareness of, we would weather those difficult seasons with my clarity and optimism.

    • says

      You are the MASTER of managing your seasons my dear friend!! I have been honored to watch you navigate your way through them and cherish the lessons learned in each of them… you are a mighty example of embracing your precious ongoing path full of twists and turns. I love how you truly realize the purpose in each one and use them to launch you to the next. That takes incredible intention and amazing strength.

  11. says

    Wow Chris! I just love love love love your beautiful writing! You really make me slow down and think. See, I come to you for sanity checks.
    I’m in the Searching, Suviving and Spiraling seasons, all at once but God is Great and He always leads me and directs me. At the end, it always works out. Hugs!

    • says

      AW Manal!! You are SO good to me!!! I love that you are clinging to God during your incredibly difficult season right now!! I am praying for your to feel His Peace and His Power in this… your endurance and your mission is so truly honored, my friend! In the end, justice WILL be served. Believe that.

  12. says

    I think I go through all the seasons, and then some, in one week. I’d like to add the season of contentment. Some times, it blankets all.

    • says

      Ah YES!!! And perhaps that is what we all should be striving for in every season, amen? Contentment in knowing we are exactly where we should be… 🙂

      Thanks for stopping by! I am so grateful!!

  13. says

    Too often I am the person looking to the future. What’s next? What should I be working toward now? Thanks for this reminder that it is enough to just BE where I am right now – no matter if that means joy or pain, comfort or discomfort – because there is always beauty in the present.

    • says

      It’s SO easy to constantly look for ‘more’ or ‘what’s next’ while we surely miss the beauty or lessons in the season we are presently experiencing! It is an intentional way to live- and it takes effort and mindfulness always. Our nature is to move on and push through- I know. I do that too many times!!

      I am SO glad you stopped by Katie!! 🙂

  14. says

    I know exactly what you mean. I feel like I am in the season of the unknown right now…things are changing, children are growing up, it feels like there should be a next thing, but I don’t know what that is yet. Beautiful post my friend.-Ashley

    • says

      That is such a hard season to be in- in so many ways Ashley!! But trust that the ‘next thing’ will be prepared just for YOU. And try to relish in where you are now, my friend. 🙂

  15. says

    I’m definitely in the surviving season. I feel like I’m just barely hanging on–and I want so badly for the next season to come through. But you’re right–this is how wisdom is gained. I hope I come through half as wise as you, my friend!

    • says

      I wondered how you were doing honey… I do pray you gain strength in knowing that this season WILL pass… and you will be blessed because of it!! Some of our most difficult seasons bring forth beautiful fruit and wisdom and God’s plan for YOU is perfect. Truly.

      I will be praying for YOU. Love you so much.

  16. says

    You did it again girl…you nailed it! Everything about this post was beautiful Chris! So true my friend, how I too wish I could go back and capture the truth of each season I was in and understand it’s purpose. Oh yes, if I knew then what I know now.. HA! 😉 I’d have to say I’m in a season of stillness too. God is determined to get me to understand that He will be in total control, no matter if the way I’m going is right. And you know what, I like it that way! There is security in being in the background. Love you girl! xoxo

    • says

      I love LOVE that!! “There is security in being in the background”. That is post material girl!! There truly is a peace in knowing it’s really not about us, or up to us. The pressure is immediately lifted and our prayers are surrendered to His Plan.

      Now, I need to look deeply into those times when I wrestled with it all- and pray I don’t fight that fight again!

  17. says

    I think I’m in a searching season, Chris, and I’m learning to be all right with that. Sometimes I’ve tried to go back to other seasons or question the validity of the current one. It’s so not worth it, I’m learning slowly.

    God is in the midst in each season. We are the receivers, He is the giver of each season. As we receive them as gifts (even when they don’t look like that!) we emerge stronger and ready for the next season.

    • says

      Searching can feel empty…. with a longing… and anticipation for more. I love that God places that need in us- because you KNOW He will fill it in His Perfect time Alison!!!

      I will be praying for your heart to be open to His Direction and Discernment on where He wants you to go, and how He wants you to go… and as He ministers to you during this season, I will pray for powerful revelations that bring clarity to your heart and peace to your mind.

  18. says

    Chris, my friend, this is gorgeously written as always. For me, I think I am in surviving/ worrying/ waiting season. My son Tucker starts a new school program next week. While it’s good because he’s “graduating” to a less restrictive setting, it’s scary because it’s 10.5 hours less of school each week – the kind that’s been WORKING. So I guess waiting to see how it goes?
    I love how you used the gray and then the black font. So lovely and powerful.

    • says

      I was wondering when that was starting…. OKay- I get that season. Been there- different circumstances. That’s such a difficult season to be IN!! I am going to be thinking about you and praying for this new program to work better than you expected and remember- There is a reason you came this far to put him in it… trust that.

      I love your precious encouragement. I soak it up like a sponge. Truly. Coming from you it means the WORLD to me.

      • says

        AMEN to THAT Alison!! We don’t realize that He sees beyond our season and is equipping us for the next… we must trust that! Although boy, it’s so hard to do sometimes, isn’t it?

  19. says

    I’m in a quiet season, I think. Lots of changes in the next few years, but right now just enjoying the way things are. Because you never know when that season will change, do you?

  20. says

    I’d have to say, spiraling, searching and sacrificing. I wish I had the ability to look at things the way you do. I get all stuck and muddled up in the season I’m in. I’m either desperate to hold onto it or desperate to break free from it. Why is it so hard to just be in it and enjoy it or realize that it will pass? So inspirational, Chris. I need that book of yours to hurry up and be written so I can have it on my shelf. 🙂

    • says

      You know I struggle with the seasons TOO- and I get how you operate, much like many sweet friend!! I know when I am in a season that isn’t comfortable or downright unbearable- I want to get OUT too! Or in the least, realize that it WILL PASS. Both of those ideas can somehow be impossible to hold on to at times. AmIRight??? Hang on, love.

      You bringing up my book? You just gave me more momentum than you could have ever imagined! I needed that. Oh AnnMarie- THANK YOU!!!!

  21. says

    I feel as though I’m in a season of searching for stillness. Stillness itself comes in fits and starts. And I try to remind myself that when life finally is still and at peace, I’ll miss this movement so much.

    • says

      I love that- ‘Stillness comes in fits and starts’… I think we will always miss parts of our season’s past. More reason to truly treasure our season now. Even when we want to search for more.

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