AH, THE SNOW DAY…AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!
Snow days always start with a “YIPPEE!!!” and a “YAHOO!!!”, as we celebrate a day to stay home and snuggle and watch movies and color and play games and watch the snow and ice fall outside when we are warm and safe in our beautiful cozy home!
The snow days always turn into:
“IF I SAY THAT ONE…..I SAY ONE MORE TIME…. JUST ONE MORE TIME….. I AM GONNA HAVE TO HURT YOU BADLY AND THEN I WILL GO TO JAIL AND YOU WILL NEVER SEE ME AGAIN! YOU WILL CRY AND FEEL BAD FOR ALL THE EVIL THINGS YOU DID TODAY TO DRIVE MOMMY INSANE AND YOU WILL HAVE NO MOTHER FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!” (Kids laughing running around house with total crazed look in their eyes literally bouncing off the walls as they continue to completely ignore what I am shouting….)
“I MEAN IT YOU LITTLE PEOPLE!!!! TO YOUR ROOMS NOW! FOR THE TENTH TIME YOU ARE BOTH ON A TIME OUT!!!!! (Screaming, laughing, now tackling each other and wrestling….inevitably, someone gets hurt. Now one starts to cry, both kicking, scratching, and hitting as the other one cries….)
“I TOLD YOU SOMEONE WAS GOING TO GET HURT!!!! DID I TELL YOU????”
(MAAAAAAAAAAAAHMEEEEEEEE! One of them screaming for me…..) “Okay…now calm down…..where did you get hurt? “HEY! STOP KICKING NOW!!!!! I know you are mad, but what is our saying????”
(“If you’re gonna play rough, you gotta be tough.”)
“All better? I know I see the scratches your brother gave you. I know…..awful child he is…..I know” Oh I am just KIDDING son! You aren’t awful! Oh now stop crying…..I was just joking! Yeah, I know she kicked you….both of you say you’re sorry please. Now you can both say your sorry because you both got hurt. Okay, I know you hurt too honey. I hear you. I know your pain. Feel your pain. Got it. Mmmmmm, ouch, that must’ve hurt. Oh I know you hurt too honey. Okay- are we ready to apologize and play nicely?
Thank you. Can we now pick up the mess you left behind? Hey, guys…..where are you going???? HEY KIDS!! GET BACK HERE NOW!!!! OKAY- THAT’S IT! I AM TAKING EVERYTHING AWAY!!! NO TV! NO TOYS! NOTHING FOR YOU TO DO BUT SIT IN YOUR ROOMS FOR THE REST OF THE DAY!!!!” (What was I thinking threatening that one? Am I going to torture myself more today with nothing for them to do?????)
(They start scurrying around the house to pick up things as they beg me to not take anything away……)
“Thank you! Okay…..I can’t even see the floor down here!” (basement playroom) Can you both come down here and clean this mess up please?” (Simply amazing that literally ten minutes in the basement can result in a complete disaster of chaos and forts gone bad and toys thrown about the room…amazing.)
“NO you cannot have another treat today! Stop whining……okay you need to stop now!” (Son throws tantrum that I ignore… for treat he will never get until he’s at least 18 years old now)
“OF COURSE you can’t have a treat either!”(daughter pulls the same stunt)
“AAAHHHH!” (total exasperation)
(I end up picking up entire basement as they maybe get one toy put away with the greatest of efforts known to children-kind. Pulling myself back to together with a deep breath, I decide it’s craft time…..)
“Come on guys!! CRAFT TIME! Lets see what we want to do?”
“YIPPEE!!! CRAFTS!!!” (They exclaim)
About 30 minutes later, the entire dining room is flooded with feathers, puff balls, felt, paper shreddings, glue gobs, paint, etc etc etc! Kids off and running again…
Me singing… “Clean up, clean up, everybody do your share! Clean up clean up, everybody everywhere!” (silence)
“HEY GUYS! COME CLEAN UP THIS MESS!” (silence)
“Mommy, I am hungry! When’s lunch?” Says my daughter who suddenly appears.
“I just finished cleaning up breakfast honey, please help with the clean up. Where’s your brother??? He needs to help too…..”
“Mom, can you please wipe my butt? PAAAAHLEEEEZE!!!!!” (I know he’s out of money!!!!! What’s he gonna bargain with now?)
All before ten.