Our Children Are So Helpful!!

Just this morning, my kids really stepped up to the plate and helped me out with so many tasks!  I love when they move to action without asking, in order to save us so much time when we are in a hurry!  I so admire their thoughtful and efficient service.  I am impressed with their diligent and competent actions, as they save the day on more than one occasion!  There are so many wonderful examples of them charging forward with the mindset of contribution and assistance where needed.  It makes a mother proud and so….

 

CRAZY INSANE MAD SEETHING SCREAMING NOOOOOOOOO!

Can anyone relate?

 Oh, I could write a twenty page article filled with examples that make my blood pressure rise just thinking of all the times my kids “helped mommy”…and the aftermath that followed.

 

Maybe you don’t relate.

 Maybe you are the mother that handles a morning more like this:

 

“Oh, thank you so much sweetie!  That was SO helpful to mommy!  Now you run along and I will clean up the gallon of milk that you accidentally spilled all over the kitchen floor while you were making your own breakfast for you and your brother during the two minutes I went to the potty!  Good job otherwise honey!  Oh, yes I see the milk has actually gone down the basement stairs and seeped into the rugs.  That is surely okay!  You tried your best and I am so proud of you for that!  Wow!  Look at the time!  We are late for school!  No worries, the milk can ferment all over the house in the heat of the day.  Maybe I will cancel my plans for the day so I can scrub a dub dub the house!  Now you little helper, get your coat on and lets go to school!  Maybe tomorrow you can help with pancakes? 

I see you emptied all the cups of water?  Well that’s a very resourceful thing to do!  But I’m not sure recycling the water by pouring it back in our water jug is healthy for us all.  I appreciate your idea to be mindful of the eminent water shortage though!  Now, lets dump the entire jug out. 

Oh look at that!  Thank you dear son for feeding the fish this morning and helping mommy with a chore!  WOW!  There are fish pebbles EVERYWHERE!  Did you happen to spill the bottle?  Oh dear, I see the bottle is empty now.  I see fish pebbles under every piece of furniture too!  Well, you are a dear for trying to help!   Too bad mommy got the super size bottle of fish food.  I sure love your contribution to our family though, sweet adorable boy!  After I get your sister to school, I will cancel our playdate and my meetings in the afternoon and all that I had on my to do list, and I will wipe up all these sweet little pebbles that rolled under each and every item in the house, then I will mop up all the milk and … oh

OH LOOK AT YOU!!!!  YES!  I see you emptied out all your toy tubs!!!  Well, that’s a great idea to clean out all your toys for mommy!!  Say, could we do that later tonight because we are twenty minutes late for school now.  What a wonderful, thoughtful idea to challenge yourself to a mindful and efficient task dear son!  Well, seeing as every toy you own is now all over the living room floor, every little sweet car and super hero and Beyblade and army man and, and, and… I will attend to cleaning those up with you after I cancel my plans for the day, mop the floors, clean the carpets, and vacuum and wipe up all the fish pebbles.  We can do this together when I have two hours open, that I know I can surely squeeze in today! 

Did you pack your lunch all by yourself?  Why thank you so much for all your help sweetie and taking this responsibility!  Can I check your lunch box while I am driving to school?  We are quite late, so I will take a peek while driving 50 mph down the 20mph school zone.  Well look at that!  You did a wonderful job getting the fruit I cut up in the fridge!  Candy, candy, hmm… candy.  Do you remember when you learned the food groups my cute little sweet-eater you!  Well, I don’t see much of those foods in your lunch today.  BUT, I love your initiative and you made some choices all by yourself!  Good for you!  However, I do believe I may come back to school with some protein or any kind of nourishment to get you through the day…after I cancel all my plans, and I mop the floors, clean the carpets, vacuum the fish pebbles, and clean up all the toys…”

  If this is you…can you walk on water too?

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Comments

  1. Kelly Mattei says

    I know those moms exist, but I am not one of them! Thank you for sharing a real life look at those helpful children! Ashley Gatewood Taylor shared your blog on her facebook page, and I’m so glad she did! Now I’ll follow YOU too. Thanks for a great laugh…

    • says

      Oh I am soooo happy Ashley led you to my blog! Thank you so much for reading, commenting, and being REAL with me!!! So excited you are going to follow me!

  2. Sue Theimer says

    I laughed out loud at this one!!!!! My adorable little grandchildren! Grammy Sue is a lot like them now. . .dropping little things around the house!

    • says

      Ha! I guess it’s the perverbial “circle of life” thing… :) Glad you laughed out loud! I actually did too, as I was writing it!! All real life experiences…are the best humor material any writer ever needs!

  3. Melissa says

    You know me…I am very candid and honest with my kids. I had keegan help me by cleaning the bathrooms. He did a typical ickey 11-year old job (this means terrible). Instead of getting angry with him I took him back to the bathroom. I said, “Son, as your mother I need to teach you a few life lessons. Today, I teach you the importance of knowing how to clean, I mean really clean, a bathroom. This will ensure you a happy beautiful sex life with your wife. You do this for her, unsolicited, and you will be a very happy husband. Clean the floors too…she will become very creative!!”

    He of course was mortified…but I know he heard and will remember!!

    • says

      I could just picture you saying that to him! HILARIOUS! And you are right…it will stick with him through his marriage and someday he will thank you!

  4. says

    Ha, I can totally relate. It’s funny what our children do to “help” us – but I know if I get angry or scold them, they won’t want to help me in the future!

    • says

      Yep- that’s a great point! We have to keep them “wanting to help” so that when they do get older, we can have them do the laundry, the dishes, the floors, the yard, the car, the sheets, the dusting, the windows… you get the idea!!! LOL (Man I can’t wait for them to grow up and really help!)

  5. says

    I can definitely relate. A lot of times, I just let my kid do what she wants and while I realize that doesn’t make the situation any better in the long run, it allows me ten minutes to take a shower. Know what I mean?

    Stopping in from Kludgy Mom.

    • says

      Oh yes Wendy… I hear ya! There are so many times I do the very same thing, and then spend hours cleaning up after my “break”. I think 76% of my job as a mother is cleaning up after my kids. Yay. 😉 (Thanks for stopping by! So grateful.)

  6. says

    Oh, I totally get this! My three year old wants to “help” all the time. We were making brownies “together” recently when he dumped half a box of baking powder in the batter. I dumped it out and started over. Then he dumped too much sugar in the batter. I gave up and made them when he was napping. Gah!

    • says

      HA! I can just picture that entire scene!!! You’re a champ for trying! And bummer you had to waste those luscious cake mixes!! LOL For me that lovely morning, it was the fish pebbles that almost pushed me over the edge. I still find them in the hidden cracks and edges of our house! Thanks SO much for stopping by!!! :)

  7. says

    This is so not me! I’m the parent who just about every week thinks that perhaps it was wrong to bestow a child upon me because I’m moody, impatient and resentful of my time being taken away.

    I love my child but when people ask when am I going to have another one, it’s amazing that visible steam doesn’t come out my ears.

    I could use a course on patience but not love.

    • says

      AMEN sister!!! I hear ya. I am CONSTANTLY resentful about my kids keeping me from doing what I WANT. It’s a horrible selfish state and I try SO hard to control my frustrations with it all. My kids tell me ALL the time that I really need to work on my Patience. It’s not my finest quality! lol If you end up having another…look out! The very heart of your ego-centered world will be annihilated!!! But in the end…it’s really worth all the selfless moments. :)

      • says

        There will definitely be no additional children but yes, patience and selflessness are difficult but cute little faces who want to hug and be near you doesn’t last forever. I’m trying to cherish those times but it ain’t easy!

        • says

          Oh CHERISH THE HE– out of them!!! I can seriously hardly remember mine when they were two. It’s AWFUL!!! I need the video to remind me all about their sweetness and adorable ways… Here’s the kicker: Mine are only 7 and 9 years old. You’d think I would be able to remember just a few years ago eh? Nope. It’s all a blurr… Cherish. Those. PRECIOUS. Little. Years. :)

  8. says

    I have zero poker face (or voice) – When I try to plaster that grin on my face and choke out those positive sentiments, my 2yo just looks at me and says, “Mommy, are you frus-uh-rated?”

    Mhmm. But really, who wouldn’t want 5,000 fish pebbles ground into the couch, huh?

    • says

      HA! Yeah..kids are pretty keen on us aren’t they?! That is SO cute! I have never been good at the poker face either. My kids know EXACTLY the moment they start to irritate me. Oh they know all right… lol 😉 Here’s to the 5,000 fish pebbles and the literal spilled milk and all the other MESSES we will have the honor and the privilege of picking up after them…CHEERS! (Getting my little drinky pooh now…)

    • says

      It’s so so hard isn’t it?? Oh they think they are just helping mommy out SO much… (heavy heavy sigh.) :) I feel so bad when I completely lose it when they do try to help. But it seems to always be one mishap after another when they put their hands on anything! Thanks for stopping by!!

  9. says

    Ha! That’s hilarious! I try really hard to be patient with my 3, but it’s so hard. My worst time is when I’m trying to get my oldest out the door for kindergarten. My 3-year-old could care less about being late. I secretly call myself “lion mommy” at this point because it’s like I’m “roaring” directions at them to just get. them. moving. Great post!

    • says

      Oh yes… isn’t it almost IMPOSSIBLE to get them both on the same page? Especially at the ages you have. Oh I remember ALWAYS being late… and roaring like mad too! LOL Thanks so much for stopping by. So grateful. :)

    • says

      Oh yes!!! I ROAR even louder each year they get older!!! It’s funny how the “filter” tends to drift farther away the older they get. Like their little spirits can handle more yelling and roaring! Or maybe they just do even MORE “helpful things” because they are older…yeah, that’s it. :) Thanks so much for stopping by!!! So grateful. :)

  10. says

    On a rare sunny day I can be patient. But honestly? That mom you described is so not me! I only allow them to help with the cake making if I’m making it for no particular purpose (as in never) because I can’t be bothered to be patient AND bake at the same time!

    • says

      I totally get you!! On those rare sunny days…oh so rare!! And who bakes a cake unless you want to eat the batter late at night anyway? I have yelled at my kids on more than one occasion to stop making a mess when we try to bake anything at all…not to mention cracking the eggs???!!! Now that’s a recipe for disaster right there. (PUN intended!) Oh how I wish I was THAT imaginary mom who eases through it all with grace and love! I definitely need more “sunny days” in my home! lol Thanks so much for stopping by!!! SO grateful. :)

  11. says

    LOL!!! I am sooo not that mom! I’m the one yelling ‘what the hell are you doing’!! I can be patient and understanding but not when they spill a gallon of milk!

    • says

      THANK YOU and AMEN!!! How about the 4 thousand fish pebbles all over the floor…? Yup. Give me a little mishap and I’m all “it’s okay sweetie!” but give me about twelve really BAD ‘gone wrongs’ and well… I’m gonna lose my peanuts all over them!!! :) Thanks SO much for stopping by Jackie. So grateful!

  12. says

    Hell no, this isn’t me! I could pull this “Stepford Mommy” routine off and then I’d have to kill my husband or someone else dear to me. No way! But this is the funniest post I’ve read in a while. Definitely a keeper! I’m happy you got more eyes on it (including mine)!

    • says

      HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I am SO glad you liked it!! Us moms need to stick together in our nightmare days when our kids “help” in their destructible and innocent but profoundly irritating way!! The angelic moms can just go sip their virgin drinks elsewhere, while we do shots back and complain about our crazy reckless kids!! SO glad you read it Mary… :)

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