Natural Childbirth…

January 28th, 2006

3:12AM: Sound asleep.  My 9-month-old ‘in utero’ baby literally stands up inside of me and awakens me in a terrified state. (seriously- standing up in my belly, as my stomach is shaped like a cone)

“AAHHHHH! Oh my God, Oh my God! Is… this… it, Lord? What the…”

3:21AM: On the bathroom floor…still questioning…WOOOOHA! It hits again….the earth shattering violent eruption of the uterus.

“Okay….wow…will wait a little longer before I wake up Derek.”

3:27AM: Uterus screams…and violently shakes. Wobble to my husband in a frantic state.

“This IS it!  I think this is it. The baby is coming…NOW.”

Husband jumps up eyes wide open. “When did you last have a contraction?”

“NOOOOW! Oooooh….Aaaaahhh….!”

3:32AM: I call our neighbor’s cell phone to have my friend come over to watch our sleeping two-year old daughter. No answer. ‘Middle of the Night Birth Plan’ …gone terribly wrong… Oh God no!! Derek flies out the door to run to the neighbor’s house to wake them, throwing rocks at their window!

3:36AM: I page the doctor and politely ask if I could possibly go have my baby… while feeling another contraction…. “Ooooh…AAAHHHH!” I lie on the kitchen floor to support the thunderous roar within…

3:38AM: Husband comes back saying he woke the neighbors and our friend will be over in a minute. (Tick Tock Tick Tock…)

3:45AM: Neighbor stumbles in and apologizes for the Birth Plan mix up. (Of all nights, they forgot to put their cell phone by their bed! Classic!)

3:46AM: Husband drives 100 miles an hour, not stopping at any lights, to make it to the hospital. I scream in pain and wonder if my baby will pop out in the car.

3:58AM: Arrive at hospital front door as husband drops me off and escorts my grumbling raging enormous body into the entrance of the labor and delivery wing.

4:05AM: Nurse takes me to wheelchair and holds a clipboard full of papers for me to fill out and sign. She escorts me to a private room, while I scream in pain and tell her I am going to poop in my pants.

4:12AM: Nurse examines me and exclaims with a resounding squeal, “No time for paperwork my dear! The baby’s CROWNING!”

4:15AM: I am wheeled to the delivery room as house Doctor is paged, because my OB/GYN has not yet arrived. The nurses and hospital staff suddenly appear full throttle to apparently “catch” the baby.

“AAHHHH! WHERE’S THE EPIDURAL??? I NEEEEEED THE EPIDURAL!!! AAAHHHHHH!!!!!! NOOOOO! I WON’T PUSH!!!!!”

“GO GO GO GO GO!!!!! COME ON! DO IT!!!!” I say to the poor other nurse fumbling under pressure, attempting to get my IV in, so I can get the epidural.

Head Nurse: “There is NO time for the epidural, the baby is here! Now PUSH!!! NOW!!!”

4:25AM: Head Nurse stops epidural attempt and tries to calm me down. House Doctor arrives and stands back ten feet and stares in absolute terror. (I’ll never forget his face… really??? Seriously??)

“DEREK!!! Where are YOU?????? GET THE CAMERA!!! GET THE VIDEO!!! HURRY!!! GET IT!!!!!!!”

Hubby runs around the delivery room frantically unpacking video equipment, as I continue to scream in pain and, well…at him. (Yes, I wanted this moment recorded.)

4:40AM: Head nurse convinces me that if I push just once or twice, the pain will stop. And I will be holding my baby…

“OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD….I CAN’T PUSH INTO THIS PAIN! I CAN’T!!! OH GOD OH GOD OH GOD….AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!”

4:45AM: Nurse: “THAT’S IT!!! JUST PUSH ONCE MORE AND YOUR BABY WILL BE OUT!!!!!”

4:49AM: Cade Epkins Carter is born.

Perfect in every way.

And there you have the very simple and beautiful and lovely

 “Natural childbirth”. 

 
Linking up over at:
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Comments

    • says

      Coming over soon!!! Thanks again for the invite Michelle!! Birth is quite an amazing miracle isn’t it? But having done one WITH meds and one WITHOUT… I gladly would go with option MEDS for birth. I literally thought my body was tearing open… BUT the great and only good part of not being medicated is the rest of the day I was totally clear headed and no physical reactions cause nothing in my system!!! With Cass, I was a mess for days…

  1. says

    Scary but a perfect delivery! Cade has always had a flair for the dramatic (I think it’s a Carter family trait;) hahahaha! Love the accounting of his birth!

    • says

      Dramatic? US? REALLY? I DO wonder where it all comes from…. Hmmm. LORD ONLY KNOWS!!!!!!!! Probably Derek. (now that is actually so funny it needs like serious loling)

  2. says

    Happy Birthday, Cade!

    With my first, they didn’t admit me until after I gave birth. I had most of my contractions overnight and I let my husband sleep, thinking it wasn’t so bad. Then, my water broke and my husband took a shower when I told him! Once we got to the hospital, they asked me questions and I told them to get me a doctor and anesthesiologist. It went fast, but I was able to get an intrathecal shot to kill the pain while I delivered. Worked perfectly!

    • says

      Okay- that is HILARIOUS that your hubs took a shower after you told him!!! How did you NOT completely and hormonally FREAK out while waiting?? Did you sleep through the night and labor pains or were you up ALL night with them alone? Oh what a long night that would be!! I thought Cade was coming early once before his birth and I was up all night in pain struggling to decide if I should go to the hospital or not. It was the longest loneliest night EVER. What us moms go through, eh?

      • says

        I think I was too surprised to argue with his wanting to shower. He had just woken up and didn’t realize how long I was actually in labor! I just told him to hurry. The pain wasn’t terrible throughout the night, and I was thinking it was going to take a long time. Even my doc sounded unimpressed over the phone. What did I know, right?

        • says

          Well thank GOD you weren’t in major pain… cause that would have been a heck of a long night in labor!!!
          Oh us moms… always on a ride of unexpected turns from the very beginning we start this gig. Ain’t it funny how creation happens and we bring baby humans into the world? Just freaking amazing in a kind of miraculous way… 😉

  3. says

    First of all…HAPPY BIRTHDAY, CADE!!! Seven ROCKS!!!

    Now, your birth story had my heart racing! WOW!!(and of course that would be the one night the neighbors forgot to put their phone by the bedside…OF COURSE!!)
    I am so glad you made it to the hospital at all!! (even without the epidural—which I would have been screaming for until the baby was sitting in my arms!!)

    Well done, mom!!!

    • says

      Thank you thank you THANK YOU!!!!! Now see, there is just NO greater love and bonding in the WORLD than between two mothers who TOTALLY. GET. IT. ALL. This amazing and powerful blessing is perhaps tied up there with well…ya know, the marriage bond and the kid/mom bond. All of what you said I squeal, “I KNOW!!! RIGHT!!????”

    • says

      You should see the video Stephanie!!! It is quite terrifying to watch!! HA! I also had the “presence of mind” to verbally assault the poor nurse attempting the IV for the epidural. I still wish I could go back and apologize. Poor thing was terrorized by my screaming at her to hurry up and GET IT IN!! She probably left the room and climbed into a closet to cry and rock in fetal position. (pun intended) lol

  4. says

    Wowee Chris! Our last was a natural birth, BUT it was NOTHING like yours! LOL! As a matter of fact it was the easiest AND shortest…go figure! My, my my, what we go through to bring these younguns into this world! I too am holding my stomach grimacing in pain as I read this, lol! Tell Mr. Cade I said “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!” and he’d better buy you a mansion when he gets older, lol!! Have a good one my friend!

    • says

      The really good thing about this birth was that as “ER drama” as it was…it went by really really fast!!! Thank GOD I only had to push twice for the little guy to fly out of me. Definitely the most painful thing I have ever done. I am still surprised I didn’t poop out the ENTIRE pizza I had eaten earlier that evening!! I could have SWORN it was coming!! LOL

  5. says

    Love! You and I are twins. My birth story with our second is nearly identical – I was flailing around on the kitchen floor and she was almost born in the car on Lower Wacker Drive in Chicago, leaving no time for an epidural. WHaaaaat! I love your “natural birth story!” And a happy ending too! Well done!

    • says

      SHUT THE FRONT DOOR!!!!! I am FROM Chicago!!! Grew up on the north side and lived in the city through my 20’s… we are MORE than twins!! SO fun!! And such a cool thing to know you had the same lovely and beautiful natural child birth!!! LOL 🙂

    • says

      AW!!! Thanks SO much Christina!! I was kinda forced into the “hero” bit though. (ha!) Kinda like the whining complaining hiker that makes it up the mountain and then squeals, “LOOK AT ME!!! I DID IT!” 😉

    • says

      OH yes!!! Besides being torn apart ‘down there’ and the obvious healing journey after birth, heaving them out this way is the easiest to recover from. 🙂 Never had a c-section. But I know many that did! No. Fun.

  6. says

    I didn’t want to have a c-section, and by the third time, natural birth should have been a piece of cake, but the babies had other plans! 🙂

  7. says

    Wow. You had me at the edge of my seat reading that one!
    Shwew!!
    I kept expecting little one to appear at home there at first!
    And even after all that, we’d all do it again.

    • says

      My friend had hers in the car on the way to the hospital!!! Can you imagine??? Yes… moms never forget every detail of this amazing and powerful moment in time. Would do it again in a heartbeat!!! 🙂 (But really would prefer to not have my body parts split open…)

  8. says

    Ok, I’m not going to lie. I had to skip to the end, b/c I couldn’t handle the anxiety I was getting with the whole labor thing. Labor and delivery makes me a wreck and anyone who can do this without drugs is a saint! I did read the best part at 4:49am. THE END. Whew. 🙂 PS My vajayjay hurts now. Good night.

    • says

      HAHAHAHAHA!!! My vajayjay hurts just thinking about it!!! SO funny you skipped to the end!!! Sorry to stress you out! It was clearly a stress induced birth for SURE!!! I can’t believe what mothers go through to get these little miracles out… Gonna have a little chat with Eve when I get to Heaven! LOL

  9. says

    Oh my, the adrenaline, heart pounding effects I’m feeling right now. I can’t imagine what you were going through. Great present time consciousness to remember the video. Hahaha! Love it. Funny thing is, I’m doing a series of post about my son, whose birthday is Friday and my next post is about his natural childbirth…only I actually wanted that way and its partly to blame why I won’t have another child…go figure:-)

    • says

      Well now YOU are the REAL hero!!!!! I didn’t have a CHOICE in the matter… and believe me, I tried very hard to get meds! I can’t wait to read your birth-day story, Hope!! Still laughing at:
      “its partly to blame why I won’t have another child…go figure:-)”
      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! HILARIOUS!

  10. says

    {Melinda} Wow. Good thing they’re worth it, right? There is a very good reason that I only have two children. I had really awful delivery and recoveries. Just reading this makes me a little edgy! I demanded my epidural too, even though my labor had progressed really fast and I barely made it to the hospital. They gave me a half dose. It wasn’t enough!!

    • says

      Yeah… there are the beautiful easy labor and deliveries I hear about…then there are the ones we endure!!! Cathy’s must have been easy to go that many times around the bend!!! lol 😉 OR maybe she’s just a SUPER mom…

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