My four-year-old son paid me to wipe his butt.  Let me say that again….. My four-year-old son paid me to wipe his butt.  Yep!  Let me give you more to this story….

My son is almost five and still has “issues” with wiping poop off his butt.  I get that!  It’s not a fun thing to do, now is it?  I also understand that he can make a hell of a mess with what lingers “down there”.   I know the kid really needs to wipe his own butt, BUT I also realize the mess that can ensue if he does!  I confess….

I have been wiping his butt every time he poops.

SOOO….. Realizing that he better do it himself soon because they don’t wipe butts in kindergarten, I have set the goal of him wiping on his own by age five.  He whines and moans and cries for help….I prompt and encourage and push and threaten and we go round and round….every day.

So the other day he is sitting on the pot and yelling and whining and moaning for me to wipe his butt.  I then prompt and encourage and push and threaten.  He then throws in a new punch….

“MOMMY!  I’LL GIVE YOU ALL MY MONEY IF YOU WIPE MY BUTT!!!!!”

Hmmmmm….  Thinking……Wondering how much he’s got…. Could use some extra spending money.  What’s one more time?  We still have a few more weeks to make our goal.  He continues…..

“SERIOUS MOM!  I WILL GET MY PIGGY BANK AND GIVE YOU IT ALL!!!  PAHLEEEEEEEEEEEZE!”

I give in.  As my seven-year-old daughter laughs hysterically as this plays out, she exclaims:  “I can’t WAIT to share this in circle tomorrow!!!  My friends are gonna laugh so hard!!!!!” (Another story for her teacher….great.)

My son goes right upstairs after the “deed is done” and gets his piggy bank and empties it on the table.  Coins.  My daughter starts counting as he stands by to wait the inevitable…. I must say, my son is a man of his word.  I was impressed!  (Thought for sure he would back out of this one after he got me to wipe his butt.  I was all ready to “teach him a lesson about following through on promises made”)

“64 CENTS MOM!  HE HAS 64 CENTS!!!” My daughter rejoices….

“WOO HOO!  MOMMA’S GOT 64 CENTS!!!”  I chime in…..

“There you go mom.”  Says my precious son.

Deal is done.

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