Meet Me At The Café…That’s What Friends Do

 

various cups of espresso in colorful cups on spilled coffee beans, from above

 

I named my blog The Mom Café for a reason. I pictured you and I meeting at some coffee shop for some java and catch up time, because that’s what friends do. I thought this would be the place we would share our deepest pains and our greatest victories, like old and new friends can, over a hot beverage, in the safety of comfort and trust. Every time I write a post, I picture just that. Us sitting at a corner table, with a scone or a muffin, a latte or a tea, and each other. It’s personal. It’s always personal.

 

 

 

So, as I sit down with my fresh piping hot coffee, and you with yours…

We share.

We bond, through sharing all the trials and the triumphs that life brings us.

You would immediately ask about my megaboot and what the heck happened?  I would tell you about my surgery and how hard it’s been. I would go on about the recovery and this very challenging time of my life, where I still can’t do a thing without pain, without help, without fumbling. I would probably go into detail with a few sorted tales of the last three months, and my recent meltdown to my husband while lying on the couch, feeling completely defeated and DONE. I would whine about feeling stuck in an immense and agonizing inconvenience- stupid foot, foolish ankle.  I would whisper under my breath that it is taking too damn long to heal, but you would hear me- and join me in the sigh.   And as I begin to choke up, I would continue my rant telling you that everything takes incredible effort and I’m tired of all the trying. I would declare with raw frustration, that my usual fast paced life has become painfully slow, and I absolutely hate it.

Then I would look down, take a deep breath and exhale…

And claim it all as a work in progress. A long hard work in progress. Healing is like that, isn’t it? Healing goes back and forth with those shaky steps that sometimes fall backwards. Healing needs both rest and work and ultimately endurance. Healing has its own timeline, doesn’t it?  So I do my rehab and push as best I can toward the goal.  I would probably look down, and whisper to myself,  “I’ve been here so many times before.” And take a deep breath and say, “But life goes on, and for that I’m grateful.”

And I would look you in the eyes and smile, as my mind would shift to reflect on the good surrounding this season. I would immediately start sharing things that have brought me joy during this time. My writing, and how much it fills me, lifts me, excites me.  I would talk about my kids and my husband- all buoys keeping me afloat. I would tell you how amazing my hubs has been through all of this… doing the laundry, the dishes, helping with EVERYTHING that I simply can’t do without pain. And not once, does he complain. Not once. I would share that Cassidy has dappled in cooking for us, and the kids have been doubling up on chores for me, and patiently serving me in the most beautiful way. I would say that I am beginning to get around better, and that IS progress.

I would shift one more time, with a sigh…

“Poor Cade asked me if it will ever be back to ‘normal’ with me.”

I promised him it would.

You get it. You nod and probably say you’re so sorry. And I feel your sympathy and your love. And it matters. Because sometimes, that is all it takes to release the weight of our burdens.

To simply be heard.

I would probably immediately tell you it’s all good. I’d say that Cade understands, despite his clothes being in a heaping pile that his dad leaves for him to sort. I’d say it’s okay that the kids don’t have the orderly and organized home they are used to, because really? It IS okay. I would explain to you and ultimately myself a convincing argument that despite my desperate desire to care for my kids and home the way we all want…  And my need to move freely and fast…

I am blessed.

And I will mean it.

And you will believe it.

Because you know me well.

We would smile at each other, and sigh…

And I would tell you to get another refill of that cup of joe, ’cause it’s your turn to share how you are doing.

We still have a lot of catching up to do.

 

 

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Comments

  1. says

    I couldn’t love this more if I tried, because you are definitely a dear friend who I could totally picture having a wonderful chat over coffee with. Hugs my friend and adore you to pieces 😉

    • says

      Oh Janine!! It would be AWESOME, wouldn’t it? I have the biggest smile on my face RIGHT NOW just thinking about hangin’ with you, my dear friend!! *It will happen someday*

  2. says

    This is lovely! I’m sorry the healing takes so long. I’m not a very patient person; I don’t think I would handle it as well as you are. Way to go, you!

    I love this line: “Healing has its own timeline, doesn’t it?” Yes, it does. And this is such an important thing for me to remember. Thanks for reminding me.

    Oh, how I wish you and I could sit across the table from one another and lose ourselves in conversation until it’s two hours later and we’re still not ready to go yet. That sounds nice.

    • says

      Oh Robin!! You know more about healing than anyone I know, my sweet friend!! And you are one of the STRONGEST people I know too… Funny how strength comes from it, yes? God bless you, lady! You are truly ONE in a MILLION. XOXO

      I think we would need more than two hours… much MUCH more. Just sayin’. 🙂

  3. says

    I feel as though you wrote this for me, Kitty. I know it’s to all your readers, and a beautiful example of how gorgeously engaging and frank your writing can be, but I was *there*

    And I would get us refills, and hug you around your shoulders on the way to the counter, and I’d come back and tell you of all my challenges and triumphs, and the things I’m excited about, like MEETING YOU FOR REAL IN SEVEN MONTHS, and I’d shine with joy, like I always do, at the contemplation of such an incredible trip with so many memories to make and so much happiness I don’t rightly know how one soul can hold it all.

    And we would hold hands and just be, in that moment of happiness – of knowing that one day this year, there will no longer be a screen between us.

    • says

      Ah… and you just wrote that GORGEOUS picture of us and I melted right into it!!! I honestly don’t know how I will be able to contain myself when we FINALLY meet. I’m afraid one of us will get hurt! lolol Where padding. Just sayin’. 😉 (*chants* “MORE DAYS! MORE DAYS! MORE DAYS~)

  4. says

    As it happens, I’m enjoying a fresh cup of coffeh this very moment.

    I DO get it. I DO believe it. It’s easy to feel defeated when things aren’t going your way, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. And it’s drawing nearer.

  5. says

    Oh how I wish to have coffee with you someday Chris! And a lot of bloppies and bloggers that I wanna meet in real life! Your blog has been a source of inspiration and motivation for me! It’s just impossible not to be inspired by your words!

    • says

      Oh gosh, Jhanis- you just blew me AWAY with your precious words!! Thank you, my dear friend. SO much for that. I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to hang with you, girl. I think we would fill our time with both tears and laughter! Lets meet at your house? You can make me all those yummy dishes you talk about! ‘;) (Just send me the plane ticket at your earliest convenience.)

  6. says

    Thanks for sharing your heart today. Anyway, I would get my cup of Tulsi (holy basil) tea and tell that it’s amazing how God give you such grace to handle whatever you’re going through. You’re a testimony of His wonderful strength and grace. Keep on encouraging others like me! <3

    • says

      Oh Nance, you are such a sweetheart!! Thank you for encouraging ME and others too!! I sure would LOVE to meet you! That tea sounds yummy!! I would try it. 🙂

  7. Shelley says

    Love this!!! All too familiar!!! Love you more as I have for almost 30 years of friendship!! Wierd considering we are only 29!!! lol you are my hero. Strong lady!!

    • says

      THIS IS THE ONE!!!! I’m SO glad you came over and read it, Shelley!! This. Is. Us. You are my most treasured friend… 30 years proves that!! Love you SO much. HONORED to have spent all these years navigating LIFE together, girl. Can’t wait for 30 more years with you- which will bring us to- 29 yet again. LOL

  8. says

    Actually, I would have a cup of tea, because I can’t drink coffee anymore 🙁 it makes my stomach hate me which is sad because I love it. I’m sorry it’s taking so long to heal. It stinks not being able to physically do what we want. It’s rough being stuck in limbo, on us and on our families.

    • says

      Tea’s cool Amy! They serve tea there!!! 🙂 It’s stinks when healing doesn’t come fast enough… but it’s life. In due time. Precious time.

  9. says

    Loved this and so sweet! I appreciate your honesty yet in the midst of the hard stuff you are counting your blessings! Wish we could grab a cup of coffee – I think I would probably enjoy our time together! 🙂 🙂

  10. says

    What I wouldn’t give to have coffee with you in person!!! It HAS been a long healing time, it HAS! No wonder you’re feeling tired and defeated and impatient. Some day it will feel so distant, and you’ll be running around without pain, and you’ll be glad you did it.

    • says

      Some day… yes. Until then, I will make the most of this time on the couch and honestly? There’s a lot of purpose right where I’m at- so I’ll embrace it for what it’s WORTH. (And make it a worthy wait.) <3

  11. says

    Wishing I could grab you and squeeze you through this screen. Your cup of joe and my cup of tea would collide as our hearts do the same.

    You are one talented lady.
    But more importantly…
    you are one gorgeous soul.

    With heart,
    Dani

    • says

      I would give just about ANYTHING to reach through this screen and squeeze you RIGHT BACK, Dani!!! Oh, I can only imagine how amazing our meeting would be!! Gosh, I swear every time I read your words I cry. They mean that much to me… <3

  12. says

    Hmmmm, this actually doesn’t sound like anything that I would had said, but I guess I’m glad to have been invited. I have literally never met another human being at a place just for coffee. I’m more of a beer joint meeter upper.

    If it’s any consolation, your husband probably complains when you’re not around and wonders how much longer you’re going to milk this injury of yours. Lol, no, he’s probably not like that.

    Either way, I hope you get to feeling better soon. I love your positive attitude and energy, so don’t lose that.

    • says

      Okay Don…

      You’re on. Name the bar, and I’ll be there. But I don’t like beer, so order me some fruity drink and don’t complain about it either. I’ll be there in five.

    • says

      I was planning a date with my dear beloved college best friend, and this is what came to me! 🙂 I love those hours of sharing with friends… they are SO important!

  13. says

    Happy healing… I am glad you are feeling the love and support from your family – I think a healthy and happy heart helps the body to heal faster!

    I would tell you how excited I am that my in-laws left town – and then I would go on for days about my MIL – I am not sure there is enough coffee in the world for all of her stories!

    • says

      Hee hee!!! You CRACK me UP Tove!! And I would keep getting refills and listen to all your stories, until you are absolutely positively DONE with sharing everything you need to about her. 🙂

  14. says

    Yes, that is what good friends do. We listen to each other’s problems, console, comfort, or just be there when needed. A perfect picture of what having a good friend looks like.

  15. says

    Oh, Chris. I needed to read this today. Thank for bringing your encouragement to me. Last night at 4 am I lay in dark thinking I don’t like my new scar and I don’t like what happened to me last week and I don’t like that it takes so long to heal and that it might not look pretty when it does heal. And then I asked for forgiveness because He knows better than I do. And then I asked that I could go back to sleep! So thank you for comforting and encouraging me by making me feel I’m not alone feeling this way.

    • says

      Oh Katy!! I’m SO glad you came by to read this!! I love that God used this piece to encourage you, when you are going through your own ‘suffering’. I’m so sorry that you have to wrestle with that… praying for your own struggles right now, my friend. Keep me posted on that scar, would you? I didn’t know…

  16. says

    Thanks for sharing your heart so early this morning! Wow, you have been through a lot of challenges. It is a strange thing to think about the reality of what is going on behind all the smiling profile pics. The closest I can relate to what you are going through is my unexpected 8 plus hour cancer surgery in April of 2013 and the 3 months of recovery it took, they said it would take a year, but it happened much faster. Thank the Lord for His grace, healing and discipline. Saying a prayer for you right now and that great things come out of this for you!

    • says

      Oh Christina! That surgery? Wow. Thanking God you are okay, and that you healed faster than they expected!! Thank you for coming by and for your prayers, my friend. <3

  17. says

    Let’s chat in the evening and I will bring the wine:) I will even sort some laundry and wash some dishes while we chat because I often talk better when I’m moving!!!

    • says

      PERFECT!!! I totally talk better when I’m moving too!! The best chats are walking with a friend, and when I used to work out at the gym, the most intimate friendships developed over hours on the cross trainer side by side talking…

      But since I am not moving so much these days, you scurry around my house and get things done and I will scoot to each room and watch and we will talk up a storm. 🙂 WIN-WIN.

  18. says

    ****I pictured you and I meeting at some coffee shop for some java and catch up time*****

    Beautiful.

    One day, I pray we can do just that, my dearest Chris.

    How grand that would be!

    xxx Luv From MN.

  19. says

    That we do. I remember the first time I came here. I didn’t realize you were just one blogger. I thought it was a whole virtual cafe. Then I met YOU, wonderful and beautiful you.
    When are we doing this in real life again?
    Talk to me about your pain and prayers anytime. Any day.

    • says

      You know, I’ve had a few people say that! Shoulda named it something else… what did I know? NOTHING. 😉 But I’m SO glad you and I connected. Real life coffee and cookies… MUST HAPPEN. 🙂

  20. says

    this makes me want to go to a blog convention so badly!! I went to one a few years ago, but I didn’t have a big following at the time and didn’t know many. Now I feel like it would be the biggest, best coffee chat of all time if I could up with all the wonderful bloggers like you! 🙂

  21. says

    It’s definitely how I feel when I read you Chris, being at the coffee shop around the corner and having this chat about life, its struggles and its pure joy as well. Healing takes time. Sometime it’s tough to remain patient. But things get better with time too. You are dealing beautifully with it. Take care

    • says

      Oh thank you so much, Marie!! Your encouragement means so much to me! I’m so glad you get that ‘feel’ when you read me. This place of mine is personal, and I want for all who read my words to feel that and connect on that level. <3

  22. says

    I so hope that one day we’ll share coffee together and that I’ll get one of your monster hugs. In the meantime, YES it will get better and it will. I so promise. Still, hugs for the now when it feels like forever until the pain stops.

  23. says

    Pffft you were gonna delete THIS piece? Look how people have responded! *grins* You have the knack, Kitty.

    And if you want more days, FEEL FREE to pester the Big Guy about putting some freebie days in between every single other day. I’m certain that each person would happily see me for double! 😉

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