I Am Who I Am

250x250 Christine I am who I am.  I share parts of me that are true and real.  I will never profess to be a biblical scholar, or even a “good Christian girl”.   I’m neither of those two things.  I am terribly flawed and outrageously outrageous.  I have a shaded past full of grave mistakes and shameful choices.  I live among those who have stories of their own, and bare the humility of brokenness with me.  I cuss when I’m excited or mad, I act inappropriate, and I incessantly jump over boundaries that are normally put in place.  I fail to raise myself higher than God calls me to reach.  I am devastatingly honest, and purely impulsive.  My humor is weird and strangely absurd.  I am who I am.  

And as incredible as it seems that A Holy God can love ME- Apparently He does.  So I have my ‘ways’ and my ridiculousness about me that He embraces with ever-loving Grace and Mercy.  I do wonder sometimes if He shakes His Head and rolls His Eyes from time to time, while watching me work a room.  And yet, I grow more confident that He can use even me in a mighty way.  Not by my wisdom or my righteousness- for I have little of both.  But by me just being me.

I write from my heart.  And often, my words reflect my passion for faith in a loving God.  I can’t write and share parts of me without His Presence, because there is nothing in my life that separates me from My Lord.  I pray before I write every post.  I ask God to guide my words and my thoughts and my message.  But I am very careful to pick each word, so that I may open hearts-

Not shut them down.

I never ever ever want to create a corner of Christianity.  A pocket of the piousness.  Or sacred surroundings that create barriers.  I refuse to set boundaries that bind, and repel hearts who may in fact not walk the same path I do.  I want to live among the hearts and souls that breath love and long for connection.  And in the joy of sharing my heart, I hope to illuminate my Lord.  Nothing more.  Simply me and my thoughts about life, with faith threaded through the colorful patterns and pieces of who I am.  I absolutely LOVE that many of my readers share a different perspective, and perhaps a different faith. 

God isn’t a pushy God, so why would I be a pushy follower?

Too many Christians push.

I believe God may shake His Head and roll His Eyes with them too. Maybe more.

So with all that said, I want to share the news of becoming a team member over at SheShares Ministries.  My dear friend Rebecca, invited me to be a contributor, and I am deeply honored to be a part of another place where I can share my faith.

I pray I can place my passion and purpose there as well.  After all, I dream of reaching more beautiful hearts like yours.  Like mine.  Like all those in between.

 Would you come visit me?  Oh, how grateful I would be!

 

 

 


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Comments

  1. says

    Yes ma’am! We are all a work in progress – striving for the mark and missing it many times. But, God is a God of grace! Blessings to you – visiting from DYWW!

  2. says

    Amen to this post!! I laughed when you said you think God rolls His eyes at you sometimes. It made me think He surely has at me. God help me everyday! Thanks for this honest piece of solid writing. Very encouraging!

    • says

      AW! Thanks SO much for your beautiful comment, Karmen! I think God ‘rolls and shakes’ more than He ‘nods and smiles’ at me!!!!
      SO glad you came by… 🙂

  3. says

    Yes, I will visit you! You are outrageously outrageous and I love that about you. You are always so enthusiastic and full-of-heart. I walk a different path and a different faith than you, but like you said, these differences are wonderful and ok.
    You rock!

    • says

      This is the beauty of women that have the gift of an open heart- friendships thrive and we are blessed by the riches of such respect, support and love.

      I can’t tell you how much I feel that with you, Tamara. 🙂

  4. says

    YAYYYYYY…I’m over here cheesing from ear-to-ear Chris!! Do know that this is only the beginning of how God will use you my friend!! CONGRATS on “doing you well” girl!!!! Love ya!

  5. says

    {Melinda} Chris, this is why I love you — you’re so real and transparent. I am so, so grateful that God chose to not leave me where I was and that He continues to love me and give me grace and mercy in all my imperfectness.

    Congratulations on being a part of the She Shares Ministry team. They are great girls and are very blessed to have you! <3

  6. says

    So Awesome! Congrats Chris! I’m sure you’ll reach many hearts and bless them. Totally love this post. Too often we ARE pushy and end up pushing people further away. We are all sinners saved by Grace. Gonna check out Sheshares ministry.

    • says

      I can’t tell you how many people I know that were completely turned off to Christianity because someone in their life was pushy.
      I think that is my biggest passion- truly, to go OUT of my way to show people I am about as REAL and MESSY as they come!

  7. says

    I love your approach to this. It can be such a sensitive topic, with those who feel so strongly one way or the other, that being true and honest and really yourself can be a tricky battle. I love that you have such strong convictions and congrats on a new writing opportunity!

    Visiting from Shell 🙂

    • says

      Oh Ashley, I just LOVE your comment. I don’t know how to NOT be me… sometimes it doesn’t go so well (lol) but I am who I am and I can’t change that. 🙂

  8. says

    Way to go, Chris! I know God will use you mightily at SheShares Ministries.

    I paused as I read where you said you pray before writing each post. That really resonated with me. Sometimes I am in such a rush to write that I do not take that prayerful pause. Thanks for the reminder.

    • says

      I actually ask God to give me the post- and what comes to mind, is what I write about. There are also times I get ideas randomly, and then pray for confirmation before I write it and publish!

      I think it helps me remember and realize I am writing for someone out there who God is trying to speak to…

      And I love love love that.

    • says

      Seriously- you don’t know how much that means to me, Jennifer. I can’t tell you how good this encouragement from you makes me feel about my ‘passion and purpose’.

      Thank you thank you thank you…

    • says

      Being true to yourself goes a long way- and I doubt anyone regrets honoring who they really are, even if it doesn’t sit well with everyone.
      I love the amazing people we are honored to know that share their authentic self in this blogosphere too. 🙂

  9. says

    Congrats to you! I don’t know you well and haven’t “known” you for long but I can tell you are what we see when we read your posts and because of that you do open hearts. Going to visit now.

    • says

      Thanks SO much Laurie! I really am so transparent in real life, that I can’t write any other way. Sometimes to a fault- but always completely true to myself. I don’t know how to be otherwise.

  10. says

    Today was my first time ever reading anything you had written & yes I will follow you, thank you for being brutally honest, as christians we sin, we aren’t perfect, I cannot & will not condemn you or myself for it, I can try to do better tomorrow, isn’t that the goal? The only perfect one was sent to be killed so we could live so carelessly, now if that’s not some cold chilling to the core LOVE I am not what sure love is, I was raised that love is the greatest of all… Thanks & I look forward to it!

    • says

      I am literally doing a “happy dance” over here because of your comment!! I am THRILLED you will follow me and I -you!!

      What you said- ah yes, what you said:

      “The only perfect one was sent to be killed so we could live so carelessly, now if that’s not some cold chilling to the core LOVE I am not what sure love is, “

  11. says

    That sounds awesome Chris! I love reading your stuff, I often lurk. Because your posts touch a nerve with me. In the sense that I think I should write more about my faith and don’t. And the fear that I will lose dear followers if I do. I’ll keep my eye on you!

    • says

      Oh Jen- your comment means SO much to me!!! I get it. I truly do get that sharing that part of ourselves, our hearts- is a risk. And only you know what’s best.

      Funny- I started my blog not planning on sharing much about my faith, more about funny motherhood stuff and encouragement…

      I realized I couldn’t NOT talk about it- because all those pieces fit together and my words seemed empty without my faith. I tapped my toes on the water, then a little harder, then took a step, and sometimes I even dive in these days!

      Each time I was DELIGHTFULLY surprised that my followers stayed with me, and I think perhaps they actually enjoy it!

  12. Tammy says

    Oh Chris! Yes, you are who you are and it is the you that you are that has blessed me so! I love your real, raw you-ness! EVEN when you are crossing those good ole boundaries (which we both know is often)
    ; )
    I don’t know about God rolling His eyes and shaking His head but I know you take ME there!…Usually followed by a big belly laugh and lots of stepping over the boundaries with some walla lovin!
    But seriously, I LOVE that you get this. That you get that God loves watching His art work as you just keep being you and you keep blessing so many others with a love that overflows from your love of your Abba. You constantly challenge me to be a better me, and I love that about the you that you are.
    XOXOX

    • says

      I love you Tam. I love that you know me so well and STILL love me!!! Thank you so much honey- you know how much your encouragement means to ME!!

      Maybe we should post a few pictures to send the message home for my readers!!!? Like the one with Emily on the couch, or my ‘back’ in target, or perhaps you took a shot of my “peek a boo” at the thrift store!!!

      HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

  13. says

    “Too many Christians push.” Amen to that! Every person who pushed me to become a Christian turned me off. A woman who never pushed…in fact, was just the opposite…was instrumental in me wanting to know more finally in my own walk.

    We are thrilled to have you join us over at She Shares!!!!

    • says

      YES Rebecca!!! I had the EXACT same experience!!! I was terrified and felt threatened that I wasn’t in that kind of ‘righteous league’ they presented it to be.

      I am just so SO passionate about changing that message!!!! I finally feel strong enough in my faith to stand strong in my message- God loves EVERY ONE OF US. And there is NO pious person on this earth. Period.

  14. says

    Yes! I will visit you. You make me laugh my ____ off. And yes, too many Christians push. Let’s never be like them. Also? I love your voice. It’s most excellent. Especially when you’ve had too much to drink 😉

    • says

      You know what’s REALLY funny? (Or pathetic- whatever.) I act that way when I HAVEN’T had too much to drink TOO!!! Seriously. 😉 I think ALL Christians deserve a glass (or two…or three) of wine!!! Amen? 🙂

      PS: I love YOUR voice MORE. (Insert heart here)

    • says

      I love LOVE your point, Stefanie. There is pushing all around- and I can’t speak for others, but I certainly will hold my ground in claiming that every person deserves complete and total respect- no matter WHAT they believe.

      I think that might be something even YOU can say “AMEN” to!! HA! 😉

  15. says

    Chris, I love what you wrote, especially the part where you mentioned those who may not walk the same path you do. Having dealt with this very issue myself, I can’t tell you how much it means to hear you say that.

    • says

      Oh Michelle- I absolutely HATE that you have had to deal with this issue. That breaks my heart and makes me angry.

      Always know that wherever I am, you will ALWAYS be welcome and respected and loved. XO

  16. says

    Love what you wrote here! God’s grace and acceptance is amazing….Congratulations on your new assignment! I love when God uses our gifts!!! 🙂 Awesome! Stopping by from SITS!

    • says

      Thank you SO much Katie!! I appreciate your beautiful encouragement! My hope is that people of all walks truly understand His Grace and Love are for EVERYONE. 🙂

  17. says

    Amen and amen!

    Love this: “I do wonder sometimes if He shakes His Head and rolls His Eyes from time to time, while watching me work a room.” Oh, how often I see Him as a parent, watching me grow. I think I might be stuck in teenhood. Lots of mistakes. Lots of angst. Lots of self-importance.

    Congratulations and best wishes in your new adventure. What wonderful things you’ll do!

    • says

      I am stuck in TEENHOOD TOO!!!! Oh how immature and selfish I can be!! Aren’t we just SO blessed He loves us as we are, and truly desires us to feel LOVED in His constant and ongoing Grace. Praying for you always, my friend.

  18. Angie V. says

    Congrats Chris!!! I am always so amazed at how beautifully you write. Thank God you are who you are….. And thankGod your a part of my life.

    • says

      Oh Ang!!! You are SOOOO SWEET!! I am just so encouraged by your precious words. Thank you so much. I thank God YOU are a part of my life…

      Speaking of which- we SO need to figure something out as soon as I heal up, ok? Missing you… 🙁

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