Hope for the Hopeless…

For you, Kim.

Hope for the Hopeless

Sifting through the layers of dark tormenting rubble that covers me. My body mangled into something I cannot see. There are no cracks of light, pure black. I soak in the darkness, drenched into my very pours, as the weight crushes my lungs and I gasp for air.

Where is this source that illuminates the healing within? I know it exists somewhere out there, but I can’t seem to reach for it. The shrapnel pierces my skin and tears at my flesh leaving me paralyzed.

I am trapped beneath the suffocating wreckage of what is now my existence.

Held captive of these stones so cold, so hard, so unforgiving-barricading me into parameters of treacherous depths created in this nightmare I am living.

Where is this Loving God my sister spoke of? How can I know it to be true?

In the depths of my despair I linger, long for, lost. Silently wondering what for…

Rocks shift ever so slightly, sparks flicker beyond where I lay. I begin to twist and turn toward it in fresh welled tears of yearning. I pull and push and kick to reach that light, still strangled and struggling to breath.

Is this the air I have longed for?

I beg and plead and scream for it to come to me, gasping for breath. This tiny illumination engulfs my sheath of weighted darkness as I quiver and shake and tremble at Its Power.

His Holiness knows no bounds, no barricades, no barriers to Light.

I explode with unforeseen might that ignites the shrouds of ruins that fall scattered around me. I pull my weakened broken body to new heights from where I lift my head to discover…

His Love.

Vivid colors come alive, rich with the sweetness I can taste, smell, feel.

Is this what Mercy looks like? Is this redemption?

I bask in its glory. It’s hope.

For the Lord my God has shown Himself to me…

And taken me out of the debris.

To once again

See beauty.



If you haven’t met Kim, or heard about her sister’s murder…

It’s a soul shattered story.

A tormenting nightmare, if there ever was one.

And it captivates me so deeply, I too can barely breath just envisioning her rubble.


She has found light.

Through the cracks and crevices of shifting rocks.

And I rejoice in her hope.

His Love.

For any other precious soul that has been buried beneath the rubble of darkness…

Hold on.

There will be light.

Stones will move ever so slightly to allow it to illuminate your existence. God will make sure of that.

In time.

Keep looking for it. Hoping for it. Stretching for it. Praying for it.

It will come.

As it did My precious friend, Kim.

May this bring hope for the hopeless…

The Deliberate Mom

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    • says

      Oh Stephanie! Thank you so much for coming by my friend!!! Kim’s an AMAZING woman! you would LOVE her spirit and her amazing strength! She is a gifted writer on a mission… you definitely need to go check her out. You won’t be disappointed you did. Promise!

    • says

      It’s one of those stories you really have no words for, ya know? I tried because Kim and I have become close friends- and her spirit engulfs me – and blesses me. She found Hope. She found beauty when she thought it would never exist again. And for that? I share in her awakening to LIGHT!

  1. says

    Dear, Chris,
    I’ve read over and over.
    Such powerful, beautiful words.
    And I shall pass onto my family.
    You are beautiful. You are God’s servant.
    You are Loved!

    ****His Holiness knows no bounds, no barricades, no barriers to Light.****

    Halleluiah! This is the reason I Live. xxxxxx

    Love you more than white tigers in Kisumu.

    • says

      Oh KIM!!! I cry and laugh at the same time… both deeply. I tried to dive into your rubble from the very core of myself. I could never ever be accurate, but I can only wonder with haunting uncertainty what it must be like for you.


      I rejoice in the BEAUTY you see. And the SMELLS you can savor. And our GOD who adores you, and holds your heart.

    • says

      And I’m sure I can safely say that you are one of OUR favorites too, my friend! Kim shared with me an experience where she truly SAW God’s presence at her sister’s grave… she was blown away by the beauty. And for that? I rejoice!!!!

  2. says

    What beautiful words – I can’t even imagine the struggle and pain that Kim has lived with since this has happened!

    • says

      I know… I know. I can’t either- although I tried in this post, a bit anyway. She is a super strong woman, with a spirit that never ever stops. You would really love her Kim! She’s a force to be reckoned with!

    • says

      You simply MUST read Kim’s blog Tamara! You will LOVE HER! She has a mighty soul, and a courageous heart. Her writing is a gift and I just know you would absolutely soak her in…

  3. says

    I read it several times because I want it to sink deeper. I read about Kim’s sister and thought how brave she is.
    Amen Chris, there is always hope. 🙂

    • says

      I LOVE that you read it several times, my friend! Because it took so many times to really try to grasp and imagine what it must be like- to experience something so horrific, so hopeless, so criminal. Thank you- for taking it in, Jhanis. I am so grateful for that. There IS always hope. 🙂

    • says

      I love how you said that Jennifer… haunting indeed. Perfectly put. And thank you friend. I can only attempt to put this horrific tale into what I can imagine it to be.

    • says

      You know when you feel so deeply touched and inspired you just have to try to put it into words? Kim and I have developed a wonderfully blessed friendship- and she shared a beautiful part of her ongoing journey to find light in this horrific story… and immediately I went ‘there’. Sifting through her rubble… as I could only imagine.

      Thank you so much Roshni, for coming by to read it!

    • says

      Oh so beautifully said Andrea!! Sadly… there are many. And I love Kim’s mission to help as many stuck souls as possible. I can’t even imagine what she has been through… but I tried here.

  4. says

    I didn’t know about Kim’s story. I have no words. It’s just horrifying. Thankfully you *do* have words, Chris, beautiful and meaningful words. What a powerful and lovely post. –Lisa

    • says

      LISA!!!! Oh, how I have MISSED YOU!!!! I hope you had a WONDERFUL vacation my sweet friend!!

      And as always- you have such beautifully encouraging words for me. And yes- her story is gripping and she is an amazing soul. I am deeply honored to call her friend.

  5. says

    I love Kim. The story of her sister’s murder is one that has stayed with me. This is incredibly beautiful and so incredibly kind….for you to support her this way. You are such a blessing, Chris!

    • says

      I can’t remember how I even found her… but she STUCK. And I love her. So much. And she shared a powerful moment of true LIGHT that inspired this post. I am honored to know that woman. So deeply honored.

  6. says

    What a beautiful poem for your friend Kim. She is so fortunate to have you supporting her, because your words truly do bring hope for not just her, but so many of us.

    • says

      I love you for ssshing and absorbing it all Leslie!! I read an email Kim sent me about how she had this enormous lifting moment with God- and after I read it- I got up and walked out the door… and walked…and walked…

      And rejoiced.

      And prayed.

      And wrote blips and blurps of this in my head.

      And came back ignoring my responsibilities… because oh the power of inspiration and passion in something so grand as this!! So I picked at words and visions and dove deep into her tormenting rubble… with the light finally coming through.

      It was one of those intense and beautiful moments… that lasted all afternoon.

      Still does really. 🙂

  7. says

    Chris, you beautiful soul. Your words are powerful and incredible and so full of grace and light and love. I’m not familiar with Kim’s story but that sounds awful. I could barely breathe reading through. You’re so full of inspiration and grace. XOXO

  8. says

    I am so sorry for your friend. Your words are beautiful. You are such an inspirational writer! I hope your friend is finding some peace…I can’t imagine how much this much this haunts her. To lose someone this way is devastating. My heart goes out to her. And I am glad you are sharing her story…maybe it will help someone else have the strength to seek help.

  9. says

    Oh this is so raw, so touching, so beautiful.

    What a blessing you are Chris. I will be praying for your friend, Kim. May the light she sees in Christ still continue to shine brightly.

    God bless you my friend. Thank you for sharing (and for linking up to the #SHINEbloghop).

    Wishing you a lovely day.

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