Darkness…and Light.

My emotions are high, my heart is broken, and my soul is heavy… there are devastations and tragedies that permeate the news that I try to not allow to penetrate my safe bubble of existence.  But how can I read, hear and digest all that goes on in this world without finally crumbling into tiny pieces of bitterness, rage, and sorrow?  The darkness surrounds us.  And we cannot escape it.  No matter how much I attempt to disengage.  I cannot.  I must address it.

 Missing children.  Rape at camp.  Gunfire in schools.  Massacre in theaters.  Abductions.  Uprising.  Bloodshed.  War.  Bullying.  Suicide.

 The list goes on and on.

 And on and on.

 Such darkness I cannot ignore.  I try.  I say a prayer for those suffering and walk forward in my little world of safety.  But who is really safe?

 No one.

 I am having difficulty these days just walking on, as I usually can muster the detachment to do so.  This time I am weary of the fight.  I want to keep my family in my home with the doors locked and never ever leave again.  The world is just too terrifying, untrustworthy, and unpredictable.

 Yet, I must go forward.  We must live in this world.  I cannot control and protect our every move.  I deeply and gravely surrender, with fear and paranoid insecurity.  I have no choice.

 For those who have been attacked by these evil monsters that dwell among us…

 My heart aches for you. 

And I will pray for the light of hope and strength to surround you.

 Because in this world, there is good.  It abounds and stretches through the darkness.  As my pastor once shared with me,

 “One stream of light pierces an entire room of darkness”.  Light will always overcome darkness.

 One tiny stream.  Of Light.  Can light up a large mass of darkness.

 Light is powerful.  Even the smallest ray…

 So with a heavy sigh, I will use my light and make it glow.  And I will pray that all the light of His Highest Grace and Glory will overcome it all.

 All of it. 

 Will you join me?


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  1. TeenReader says

    You have just described the most intelligent life flasher that anyone has ever endured and that would be why I love reading your blogs.

  2. Beth McKenna says

    There is always good news and bad news.

    The bad news often makes a greater impression — maybe based in our fear that such a thing might happen to one of our own! But is there really more badness in the world today, or is it amplified through all our media channels: social networks, texting, tv, radio? Are we becoming paralyzed by all the negative information?

    Yes, keep the victims in your thoughts. But also take stock in the good news. Goodness is there…in real life and also in the media (momcafe!)!… pay attention to small acts of kindness. Hear it and recognize it every day.

    • says

      What a great perspective. Yes, we are consumed by all the headlines and we are surrounded by the media craze that often highlight the bad news. I am so grateful to share in the good stuff and witness it daily. Thanks so much Beth for sharing such a great comment!!

  3. Melissa says

    It is funny (ironic, really) that you blog this. I have struggled with the “turning of a blind eye” my whole life! My heart aches for what my mind knows of the world, all the evil that humans and animals must endure. If I allow myself to think of these things I will become paralyzed with sorrow, pain, depression. I won’t be able to get myself out of bed in the morning. So, instead of locking all the doors, unplugging the TV, I choose to let my children live through my example. I do what I can to help those in immediate need, we babysit, cook meals, landscape. If you need help, you call Us. People often remark that Blake and I do too much for others…I figure if I can shine a light in someones year, day, moment, I have done a good thing for the world. Maybe, just maybe, that person will one day “pay it forward” and cancel out one evil. I hope my children will grow up with my value system and not contribute to evil, but to goodness and evil-cancelling! It isn’t much, but I hope that legacy lives on when I am gone.

    • says

      Oh dear dear friend…you are amazing at shining your light on others!!! You are piercing your world around you with that light and your kids are experiencing firsthand how to “glow”. I LOVE your comment and I am so glad you shared your powerful and inspiring testimony here!!! 🙂

  4. says

    I found you through The Dose of Reality blog. What you said here has been all the thoughts on my mind lately. So I will definitely join you in this prayer. With all that is going on in this world, I have to keep reminding myself that I am not in control and to not let the fear paralyze me. It is easier said than done. Great blog. I plan on following. 🙂

    • says

      I am SO glad you found me! Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment…as I know you get how valuable that is! I will definately check your blog out too, as I saw you and commented about you at the Dose! Hmm…wonder if Ashley would like a nick name for her site! “The Dose”. 🙂 Anyway, I am so glad you feel the same way- even though it isn’t a good place to be, it is comforting that others like you are sharing in my thoughts and prayers… So excited you will follow me. Always love that!!

  5. Candice says

    Beautifully written Chris….we have no choice but to keep our eyes on that light, as it is always stronger than the darkness no matter how dark the day.

    • says

      Thank you so much! Yes. The light. So many times I see it and feel it in others and around our world. But man, it’s hard sometimes to not let that darkness engulf you when you see so much pain. I just needed to vent and I just knew many would relate. Who wouldn’t?

  6. Angie VanKannel says

    That’s one of my favorite things about you……you always find the “light”. Even when it’s no where in sight you have such strong faith that it will be soon.

  7. Jen says

    I really love reading your blogs! I’m a little behind again, but having a rough morning today and this really helped me get my mind in order. THANK YOU!!!!! Love you friend!

    • says

      AW! Thank you so much dear friend!!! I am so sorry for you having a rough morning…SO been there. And so glad this post helped a bit. LOVE you.

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