And Another Thing…(About My Tumor)

I wonder why I finally felt compelled to go get my sinus suffering checked out at the doctor, after all these years.  I wonder why I decided it was time.  I wonder why I went out of my busy way to get tested for allergies and then follow through on a referral to an ENT.  I paused every step of the way…who has time for that?

And yet, there’s always a reason whether we see it or not.

A friend recently told me he knew of an older woman who had the same tumor in the exact same area, and although hers was benign as well, when she had hers removed- it left her face paralyzed and her one ear deaf.

I wonder how big her tumor grew through the years, and I wonder if she had caught it in time- she wouldn’t have those dire consequences.

And as I fumble around these past few weeks in a state of wretched pain, each time I feel those surges deep in my ear and the throbbing in my face…

I grow deeper and deeper into the awareness that once again,

I was saved from something that could have been so much worse.

Had I not forged through this unexpected turn of events.

I wonder.

When I saw my doctor this week for another follow up check on my incisions and healing, I inquired more about this ‘thing’ that happened to me.  She confirmed that the consequences of this tumor could have been devastatingly worse.  Deaf and paralysis worse.  I was also told that this awful pain is common for a surgery like mine.  As I continue to feel the burning, throbbing and down right aching that screams at times all throughout my ear and face, I realize the reason why we needed to get this out as soon as possible.  

And I am taught the valuable lesson once again.

And over and over again.

That when you face an unexpected bump in your road, a turn in your path, a barricade that catapults you into a wide-open crack in the pavement.

No matter how difficult it may be…




It could have been much, much worse.

Remember that, my friends.

Remember that.  

And Another Thing... (About The Tumor)



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    • says

      Yes I am so grateful for my Caretaker!! I am blessed for the protection, and realize how God calls me to go ‘beyond’ me during times of suffering.

      Perhaps that is my most profound lesson of all in this. 🙂

    • says

      Sometimes it’s really not easy, and oh my how there have been times in my life where I don’t keep a good perspective! But the past few times I have had to suffer, I was able to really invest in going beyond ‘me’. It felt different – perhaps I am growing. 🙂

  1. says

    Could have been SO MUCH worse. And it was bad enough as it is, right? So glad you went and were sensible about this. And so, SO glad that apart from the pain and the healing still to go, you’re okay 🙂

    • says

      You’re a love. It has been so beautiful how you have forged this thing with me, Lizzi. I just adore you. Even when you pummel me and stick British flags in me…. I am grateful all the same.


      • says

        I’m not sure who forged what with whom, tbh, but at some point I showed up here to see what the biz was, and liked it and stayed. Then I reckon you probably bowled me over with your incredible enthusiasm and loveliness, and that was that!

        But because I’m crap at checking and haven’t asked yet whether you’re better (just whizzing through your other replies and assuming not quite yet, and yah-boo-sucks to that) I won’t pummel you too hard right now.

        Might punch you (gently) in the shoulder…just because

        *MWAH* <3

        • says

          I remember vividly… I can’t actually remember the post, but I remember first seeing your comment implying it was hard for you to have faith and believe in hope. It grabbed my heart immediately. <3 I'm not sure how you found me, but I sure know why we found each other!!! MWUAH!!!!

    • says

      Thanks so much Mo. There have been some weak moments of surrender and tears, but it is amazingly fulfilling to focus on things beyond ourselves. That has helped tremendously! 🙂

    • says

      Thanks Julie. I love how God does that to us sometimes- pulls in a new direction or to a screeching halt, to get our attention for something.

      The question is if we are going to listen to what He is trying to tell us or not. I think so many times, we are too consumed in the crisis to see clearly… until perhaps after the storm.

      I am still praying for you, my friend. For resolve, healing and growth in Him.

  2. says

    An incredible reminder about not ignoring the little part of us that says we should get something checked out. We feel so thankful that you listened to that little voice! Hugs and good healing thoughts headed your way, friend! :)-The Dose Girls

  3. says

    Yes we have to listen to that voice in our head telling us that something is wrong. I had the same feeling when I was pregnant with my twins. I went to the hospital and they had very low heart rates and they were delivered instantly. I was told later if I hadn’t come in that they would have died. Yes, things could have been so much worse. I am so grateful that I didn’t ignore those feelings.

    • says

      Oh Allison!! What an incredible story!!!! Thank GOD your babies were saved that day!!

      Do you know something very similar happened to ME too?? My firstborn- doc said the same thing to me- and ya know what? God took care of that one too, because I was NOT going to go see the doctor that day. I felt really crappy but didn’t want to deal with making an extra appointment. I figured I was going to the doc the following day and will get checked then.

      It was my dear friend who pushed me to go. And I thank God to this day, that she did. I have no idea my baby was in distress. First time pregnancy and close to my due date, I just thought I felt awful because of that.

      Aren’t we blessed mamas? WOW.

  4. says

    So glad it wasn’t much more worse then this and that you are finally feeling a bit better now and not he mend, too. I have been keeping you in my prayers and thoughts, so just so glad to hear you are indeed doing better now Chris!! 🙂

  5. says

    Oh the countless times we are rescued, huh? Praise, praise, praise! I thank God for your healing and am singing a joyful tune today in your honor.

    • says

      Thank you so much my beloved friend! I felt and feel your prayers stretching out for me, and your praises stretching out to Him! I am so deeply blessed by YOU. What a gift you are to me!! XOXO

  6. says

    So glad that you followed up on your sinus/allergy appointments. I think that a lot of us tend to just ignore stuff – things that I would make my husband have checked out or take my boys in for I just shove under the rug.
    I’m sorry that you are still having so much pain – I wondered if it was any better yet. I hope that soon you are pain free again.

    • says

      We are the ‘caretakers’ and we are all about taking care of everyone else, aren’t we? Funny thing- the ENT I went to was and is still my daughter’s doc who we have known since her first surgery when she was 2. (She’s now 10) I have spent SO MUCH time with the guy over Cassidy- and her complex and fascinatingly untreatable medical issues that when I went to him I said “MY TURN!!”

      It was the strangest role reversal EVER. 😉

  7. says

    I do! I remember that. So sorry you’re still in pain. So glad you followed up on appointments. I used to say I would never be someone to ignore symptoms but I have. I didn’t go to the dentist for two years because I was afraid!

    • says

      I am actually TERRIFIED of every dentist and doctor- it lights up my anxiety more than anything else really. I feel SO vulnerable and defenseless!! I get you girl. I get you. XOXO

  8. says

    You are so very right! I am so happy you went and got checked out and followed through with everything. As with all things in life. it will heal…and get better in time. One day at a time my friend. 🙂

    • says

      Yes- I am now in “patience mode” and just continuing onward. 🙂 I love that line of yours… “As with all things in life- it will heal and get better in time.” Amen to THAT Jen! Beautifully said. XO

  9. says

    So sorry that you’re having so much recovery/healing pain. But the reminder that it could have been worst is so profound…especially in the midst of your pain. Thanks for reminding me…I hope that in the midst of my pain…regardless of what it is, I can remember to be thankful…because it could be worse.

  10. says

    I always try to remember that things could be worse, even with little annoying things that bog us down. Your experience is a perfect reminder of that. Continue to heal and feel better, Chris.

    • says

      It’s SO true Dana. I really wonder how often we don’t see or understand how we have been protected from harm in so many ways. I grunt through barriers in my day, and yet- who knows why they happen? Perhaps for a reason. 😉

  11. says

    True story and I LOVE how you took the time of extreme suffering and pain in you life and focused on others’. That is awesome. That says a lot about the person you are, so of course, you listened to that still small voice. 🙂

    • says

      I love that THAT will be my best memory to cherish. I can look back on this time, this experience and reflect on all the hearts and lives I was able to reach out to and pray for. What a beautiful thing to remember. 🙂 XO

  12. Candice says

    Pray this pain is gone soon…..pray it is just part of the healing process….sure glad you went to that ENT appt…xoxo

    • says

      Yeah- I didn’t expect it to be this painful sis. But it reminds me how the location of this thing could have impacted the very places I hurt. Leaving them useless. So I’ll take the pain a little longer, and realize how soon it will all be but a memory. XO

  13. says

    Your perspective through so much pain is amazing. I pray that it fades quickly for you. But I’m so glad that you followed your intuition and got it checked out when you did.

    • says

      I seriously think that it is so SO much harder to go through difficult circumstances with the weight of the burden holding you down. I have learned through each challenge in my life (ohmygosh there have been many!) that finding light and purpose and something worthwhile to focus on is truly the best weapon of attack during those times. Now I can look back at this experience and think “It was so powerful to have so many people to pray for during that time, when I asked for prayer requests.” Worthwhile indeed. I’ll take THAT memory any day!

      We always have a choice.

  14. says

    I remind myself of that often – we never know what we have been spared. Gratitude all around. Sorry you have so much pain, but so glad that you got it in time.

    • says

      I wonder so much about that Leah… how much “we’ve been spared”. I wonder if God just sighs when we complain, knowing all too well just how bad it could’ve been.

    • says

      Oh but it could be WORSE! It’s a beautiful reminder of that. I pray you YOU are feeling better sweetie!! I hate that you have been suffering so much!!

    • says

      I really try- and ya know what? It gets easier with practice! These days, I immediately go toward gratitude… because I know it helps. It always always adds light to any circumstance. I’ve learned. 🙂

    • says

      Thanks so much for your prayers and your precious encouragement, Stephanie. I thank God every day that “this too shall pass”. Pretty darn blessed over here!! The pain is a nice reminder of what could have been….

  15. Tammy says

    So, so grateful He led you and you heeded. And praying the pain is soon to disappear but the reminder of His faithfulness sticks around. Love and miss your pretty face my WallaPoopie.

    • says

      I love that! “The reminder of His Faithfulness sticks around”. AMEN my lovey! AMEN. May we never forget His Faithfulness in caring for His children!! XOXOXO

    • says

      I am the same way! I mean, I had been playing with that lump for I honestly don’t even know how long! Just thought “I wonder what this is?” with absolutely no consideration it could be ‘something’. Lesson learned over here! Geesh.

  16. says

    Ah friend, you’re so right. It could have been SO MUCH worse. Although I wonder…what was the reason you went? I’ve had a swollen gland in my neck for a while (but have horrible life-long allergies so not new) and wondering if I should have it checked. Ok I need to have it checked. This convinced me.
    so grateful that you’re okay…and hope that the pain lessens SO soon.

    • says

      So did you get it checked yet??? Stop reading and call your doctor NOW. Why wait? Oh yeah- you’re incredibly busy. I get that! Take the time… make the time. 🙂 Keep me posted my friend!

  17. says

    Most definitely absolutely my friend! I’m so glad you’re on the road to recovery and that a still Voice led you to have things checked out at the right time. Hugs!

    • says

      It really is amazing how God leads us through avenues we never realize were made for our protection. It gives me such peace knowing that He will take care of me, us… always. XOXO

  18. says

    Wow. What an incredibly powerful reminder from someone who knows ALL TOO WELL what she is talking about you. Thanks for being so wise and so cool, Chris. And thanks for sharing it with us. xo

    • says

      Aw!! Ya know- I got it so easy compared to many. I am just so blessed and so fulfilled sharing what little I can offer, in hopes to be used by God and Honor Him. There is nothing that gives me more joy! So grateful for friends like you who notice it. XOXOXO

  19. says

    Once again, you hit a nerve. When I had that sore on my tongue that wouldn’t go away, I ignored it. I tried willing it away, praying it away and it wouldn’t leave. I opened a Fitness magazine to a page that had an article about tongue cancer, that a symptom is a sore that won’t go away. That set the ball in motion for me and the same thing. It could have been worse. I am so thankful that you caught yours before it got worse or ended up worse.

    • says

      OHMYGOSH how amazing is THAT? Now THAT is what I’m talking about! I love it when we notice God taking care of us!! Most of the time, we really hardly ever do. AmIright?

      Thank God yours worked out okay too, sweetie. Thank GOD.

  20. says

    Thank God it was caught when it was!

    Such a timely post for me — I hit a huge deer with the kids in the car. With the amount of damage on the car, I am sure it will be called totaled by insurance. We are without the only family vehicle we had, and yet it could have been so much worse. If it had been a deer with antlers…. If it had jumped 1/2 second later and wound up through my daughter’s window instead… Seeing the car the next day, the glass that covered almost every inch… I don’t know how we all got out with just a tiny cut on my hand. It really could have been much worse.
    Sorry, didn’t mean to ramble there — just your post really hits home today!

    • says

      Thank GOD you are all okay Christina!!! Oh that must have been so so scary with the kids in the car! Yes- YES….

      God was definitely holding His Powerful Hands over you and your precious family. I am so glad you shared this story.

      Don’t ever EVER apologize for rambling here! I LOVE getting to know you better!!! Nothing gives me more joy than growing deeper friendships through our words. XOXO

    • says

      Your support is SO precious to me! I am so glad too… and I know in time this will all be a little blip on the radar of my life. I am so grateful for that!!

      I was having some wine with a friend tonight, catching up and to think during that time you- YOU were reading my blog!! Oh Manal… I just can’t tell you how much that means to me!!!

      **How do you pronounce your name? You know how you say your words in your head as you write? Well I stutter through your name every time! If we are looking at being BESTIES- I better learn to say your name!!!! LOL

  21. Amy says

    Amen, Chris. Sometimes our lives just flies by so fast and eventfulness that it tales a big hit to see it. No matter what happens there will always others who have suffered more. Knowing that has always kept me grounded. I’m so glad to see you post something about it. Hugs to you, Chris!

    • says

      Oh Amy- your words are so wise. It usually DOES take something big to make us realize all that we have… and I try hard to not allow myself or my family to take so many blessings for granted.

      It can be so easy to forget the day to day blessings in our lives. I really am convicted to pay attention to them and be intentional in my gratitude!!!

  22. says

    Hey my sweet friend!! I’ve missed you girl!! Hope you and your family had a wonderful Thanksgiving!! It’s so good to be back(I’ve missed a lot in the blogging world)! 🙂 YES, I’m sooo glad you heeded the prompting of the Holy Spirit and got that checked on…boy Jesus sure does love us, doesn’t He! I’m continuing to pray for your complete healing and I’m so sorry you’re in so much pain my friend(wish there was something I could do) 🙁 Your post is so on time as usual Chris!! It goes right along with something my husband said a few weeks ago. It doesn’t matter what kind of hell we’ve been through, it will NEVER compare to what our Lord and Savior Jesus the Christ went through for our salvation…that alone makes me endure. It was an eye opener for me Chris when I felt like complaining. THANK YOU my friend for always being an example to us of what it means to fight like a “good soldier”! You make me proud and honored to be your friend! Love you bunches girl!! 🙂 <3

    • says

      It’s incredible how much your precious encouragement means to me Michell… coming from YOU, it’s always such an honor!!!! This experience has been such a profound one for me- God has definitely designed it to be for His Purpose! I am always so grateful when He comes in and opens my heart to His Plan!! There is this most passionate place He can take us to… I know you have been there!!

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