I want to quit Facebook, but I can’t.
Facebook is my main traffic source for my blog. It’s also the greatest venue I could ever find to connect with other bloggers in the several Facebook groups I am in. I absolutely love the various communities I have the privilege to belong, learning huge amounts of information about blogging, publishing, creating content, connecting, freelance work, and endless opportunities for growing both my blog and my friendships with seriously talented folks. I am in different groups for varying reasons, and I benefit greatly from each one of them.
Facebook is my connecting place, my refuge, my classroom, my counsel, my door that walks me through all the opportunities I need and desire as a writer. I spend a lot of time there. A lot.
I can spend hours on Facebook, engaging in so many of these fine groups of writers and bloggers, and I even contribute to one special group as a moderator- which consequentially lands me there for administrative duties and communication with the other fabulous moderators of this group of hundreds of women. That takes time. A lot of time.
If it weren’t for Facebook, I would be an isolated, lonely blogger. I wouldn’t be able to engage with and share my work, connect with editors and publishers, and develop amazing friendships with gifted writers. If it weren’t for Facebook, I wouldn’t be able to share such incredible articles these bloggers write with the rest of my friends, my fans, and my followers. If it weren’t for Facebook, I truly would not have made the lasting friendships I have online.
There’s a big world of opportunity out there, stretching across the globe. I have had the honor of having access into brilliant minds and passionate hearts. Their gift, their work- has benefited me greatly, all through Facebook.
So I enter into this wondrous land of global community with the goal of diving into these amazing groups and engaging when and where I can. They are endless wells of nourishment that saturate my hunger for knowledge, opportunity and support. And as I slip into the main feed of Facebook to try to catch a glimpse into my friend’s personal lives, I can barely find a friend’s name amidst the random videos, rants, pleas, Ad posts, and hideous hate, lashing out among the masses of people I don’t even know. I get sucked in, gasping at what I see, what I read, what I experience, and I finally pull my eyes out of the trance of atrocities and click out of what seems to me to be an endless black hole of disturbing madness.
So dark, I can’t see the flickers of light anymore.
I want to see the light.
I need to see the light.
I think that’s why I keep diving back in to the raging waters… desperately searching for the goodness in humanity. I know it exists. But lately, I have to work really, really hard to find it. And the sacrifice of my mental health and emotional well being is taking a toll through this unending desperation and twisted grip Facebook has on me.
I regularly relinquish all hope and leave the social media platform depleted, dejected, and utterly defeated. Now I’m left with the aftermath of soaking it all in-
Anger. Upset. Sadness. Broken-hearted.
Exhausted. Empty. Sick.
I decided late last night, while stewing over my latest traumatic dive into the war of words on Facebook, that I would set new limits for my own health.
I need to be involved in these writing groups. I want to be involved…My passion is words, and I find the exquisite power of them through these groups. I won’t quit that. I simply can’t.
So from now on, I will go directly to them and not enter the main feed, unless I am sharing my posts or someone else’s amazing work that deserves to be seen. I will continue to add to the feed, only positive posts full of grace and acceptance and love. I won’t stop doing that. Good Lord we need more of that. But I won’t be around to see my friends’ updates, to which I am deeply saddened to accept. Please know that I want to read your updates! I just can’t go into that traumatic territory for now. I simply can’t handle the hate.
I need a breather. I need space to fill my heart and my eyes and my mind with good stuff.
And Lord knows, I won’t find Peace on Facebook.