I need to breathe.
My house is a mess. I have Christmas glitter particles everywhere and food droppings from the last week still scattered along with the dust bunnies and dirt on my floor. There are mounds of laundry waiting to be washed, and I honestly can’t tell you when I last changed the sheets. I stare at a tub full of Christmas crafts I have set out to make with the kids. The tree and most of the house decorations are up, but the ornaments will go on tomorrow night with the kids and hubs… The Elf will be making his little appearance in the midst of my kids’ slumber. It took me an hour to find that little sucker… I thought I had hidden it so well, that it was forever gone. Moments of panic were had, until the last tub revealed that nutty looking red figurine wrapped tightly in a reindeer blanket. I had no idea that I hid it there. No idea.
My list of things to do is scribbled on random pieces of paper that are either stuffed in my drawer or lost in my car. I don’t know where or how to begin this Yuletide Season, without any kind of clarity or plan. The weekend spent with loved ones and major food consumption was delightful, yet attempting to navigate the loss of structure and not one moment without the kids, left me with some dangling frazzled nerves. I honestly can’t believe it’s “Christmas time”. I haven’t really stopped long enough to take in the transition from Halloween to Thanksgiving to Christmas. How on earth did that happen?
And here we are. Here it is. The Holy Season is upon us. The Advent has begun. And it is the most frantic, hurried and stressful month of the year. Season’s Greetings, my friends. Here we go…
I wish I were one of those people that could just go with the flow of life’s moments and embrace them as they come, without constantly feeling the simmering weight that grows so heavy on my heart. I need things in order and done and in place and completed and carefully thought through in time and space and if I am not prepared and acclimated to the moment that arises, I truly can’t take it in completely. Anyone? My functioning self over-rides my passionate heart. Over and over again.
I scurry through errands of picking up gifts and putting lights on the tree with haste and the incessant need of “checking it off my list”. I can breathe when it’s…
That’s when I can take it all in. But why oh why don’t I take it in during the moments that lead up to making it beautiful? Why can’t I breathe through the steps I take to get ‘there’?
I think I miss so many precious moments to breathe.
Take it in.
Relish in it.
This season, I am going to use the power of purposeful intention. I am going to stop myself in the midst of my scurried ‘to do’ and pause. Take it in. Relish in it. Inhale. Slowly. Exhale.
Each Holiday party and gathering I go to. Each event or activity I plan. Each card I write and treat I bake. Each ornament that is hung. Each toy that is bought. Each cookie that is made. Each bible story that is read. Each candle that is lit. Each gift that is wrapped. Each prayer I lift up. Each errand that I run. The schoolwork and endless Christmas crafts. Each dustpan filled with glitter. Each melted candle and home-baked food. Each off-key piano Christmas tune. Each note the elf writes and all the excitement of Santa. Each flicker of enchantment in my children’s eyes. Each hot cocoa and snowfall. Each family visit and phone call. Each glorious light and beautiful song. Each picture taken and sermon given…
I won’t let it echo off the chambers of an empty, busy and frantic heart.
I will breathe it in. Slowly. With intention.
I will compel myself to…
Take it in.
Relish in it.
These moments matter.
They will be either scattered bits of memories, or cherished treasures of history.
Would you join me?