A dear friend of mine sent me this beautiful glimpse through the window of his road oft traveled. I asked if I could share it with you all, and he complied. I know the message of this post is powerful, and one that we all can take a deeper look into if we so choose.
Thank you Mark Holbrook, for sharing your wonderful perspective here!
I was heading home the other day, traveling along a winding road I often drive. It was cold, snow on the ground, a normal winter day. Coming around a curve, I passed a woman trudging through the snow loaded down with bags of groceries. She was obviously heading home from the store. Knowing the neighborhood, I knew she had a ways to travel to the next closest apartments and her demeanor indicated as much. She had a look of silent determination on her face. She had a destination. Perhaps she had children waiting for her return. Perhaps there was medicine in one of those bags that would alleviate a child’s suffering. Or maybe just some basics for the kitchen to get through the coming week. I thought about turning around and giving her a ride home, but quickly realized that, unfortunately, in our society today, men can’t give rides to women. That made me sad. I wondered what she was thinking as she plodded along in the snow. Was she preoccupied with the lack of a car? Was she anticipating the end of her journey. Or, was she simply focuses on each step?
As I continued down the road, coming closer to home, I passed another woman. This time, the circumstances were quite different. She appeared to be the same age as the first woman, about 30-35. In this case, she was dressed head-to-toe in very nice winter running attire, complete with headset for listening to music while running. The irony of these two women’s situations struck me. The first, walking a long route, not by choice, but to provide for her family. The second, making the choice to jog along this road when she could have easily driven. No look of determination on the face of the runner, she moved easily along the road, obviously in good physical condition and enjoying doing something for herself. As I reflected on these two women it occurred to me that just the clothes the running woman wore probably cost as much as the first one spends for a week’s worth of groceries. Or even two weeks.
Same road, two very different circumstances. Two different journeys. To different experiences. Two different worlds. How often does this happen in life? A path that is a trial for one is a triumph for someone else in different circumstances. It reminded me of this past summer when I decided to take up cycling. I trained all summer to do a 75 mile ride with friends. We had a great time and the sense of accomplishment was rewarding. But, how many times have I seen someone on a bike struggling to move forward, weighted down from bags of aluminum cans collected to earn a few precious dollars for survival. Same activity, two very different experiences. One by choice, one by necessity.
How we experience the paths we are on may have as much to do with the experience of the journey as our circumstances. But maybe I have it all wrong. Who is to say that the situation might be the exact opposite? Perhaps the woman with the bags of groceries has joy in her heart. Perhaps, while physically toiling along the road she is inwardly smiling in anticipation of entering a loving home. And who knows but that the running woman, for all of her seeming material comfort, isn’t running to escape a home of tension and frustration.
If we put our trust in God and his plans for us, it is as we find in Luke 1:79 when Zechariah celebrates the birth of his son John and the promise of the Messiah, “to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace.”
Mark Holbrook is 53 year-old resident of Columbus, Ohio who spends much of his time living in the past – mostly because he works for the state historical society and is a passionate Civil War historian. When he isn’t doing the history thing, he really enjoys cycling and playing golf with friends. An author of history articles and a book, Mark occasionally likes to write about the present day.
Beautiful post. Perspective is everything, isn’t it?
It really is, isn’t it Beth? He nailed it. 🙂
What a beautiful story of perspective. I often think about the story behind the people I meet and see. We all have one. Thanks for sharing this, Chris!
I try to always remind myself of that- there is truly a story behind every single person we encounter… you just never know.
Mark, I love this. At times in my life, I’ve been the woman with the groceries trudging along. Other times, I’ve been that woman running down the road in high end tech gear trying to burn off my frustration. These days I’m somewhere in the middle of both. Happy even when I’m trudging but also loving the feel of the pavement underneath my feet when I run. How we experience the path is everything. Wise words.
I love that Ilene!! You have been on both sides, haven’t you… oh how we just never know the story behind who we see. I always wonder this very thing that Mark speaks of. He nailed it!
Wonderful post and truly is in the eye of the beholder and all about our own perceptions here for sure!
You just never know what people are going through in their life… I love how Mark shared his thoughts- I often think the same thing.
Yeah we’ll see. I’ve been ‘that woman’ running (not in anything fancy) the day before Christmas, being heckled and sworn at by people who “Hate F****** runners” and want their mates to “Look at THAT!”, with determination on my face and tears prickling the backs of my eyes, trying to forget about the home I was running away from, and the hurt it contained.
Society saddens me sometimes, because I think perhaps, in days gone by, communities would have been small enough, or at least interconnected enough, that both of those women’s stories would be known, and they would both be cared for by their neighbours.
That said…who is our neighbour? It’s a shame that we’re blocked from offering or accepting genuine kindnesses by the suspicion and panic we all default to, as communities have become fractured.
Much to think about here. Thank you for letting Chris share it 🙂
I always love your insight sweet Lizzi!!! It is amazing how people can be encountered and perceived… I hate that you had to experience meanies!!! NOT right.
And yes- it’s a sad state of affairs, this world we live in. No one can trust anyone anymore…
What I really love about this post is that Mark took the time to reflect on the two women he passed that evening. How many times do we see someone, walking down the road, passing us in the store, waiting in the school pick-up line, and never give them another thought? If we shifted our focus outward, instead of constantly inward, think of what we could accomplish! Thanks for sharing this, Chris & Mark!
Oh Nicole… AMEN to THAT!!! It reminds me of a post I wrote about something similar- I am going to share it with you because I think you would appreciate it!!
Here it is: https://www.themomcafe.com/i-see-you/
What a beautiful picture!! GORGEOUS!
It’s something I would love to see… It’s endlessness I love. Thanks Jen!
Such great perspective. There can be such a difference between when you are doing something because you have to and because you want to.
You never know though- some people you would think are miserable, are really fulfilled and at peace, and others? Miserable. everyone has a story… we just don’t know it.
Thanks all for your comments. I did not write this with the intention of sharing it with Chris, but after completed, it seemed the obvious thing to do. Nicole, I have to admit to focusing inwardly much too often, but sometimes we are given reminders strong enough to get our attention.
I’m SO glad you shared it with me and my readers Mark!! It was a beautiful introspective moment that needed to have a voice! I am honored to give it that…
Beautiful story about perspective. We don’t really know the inner workings of their minds and hearts, but I often wonder – “how does this happen?” when I reflect upon the struggles for some and not for others.
It’s so natural to believe that the one who looks “together” really has it all together… rarely is that the case. You just never know the story behind the person. How we all tend to assume!
Beautiful post!!! This is something that we talk about with our boys – sometimes circumstances dictate things but often it comes down to choices made along the way (starting now for them!!).
And, I have to say, it is a sad aspect to our society that a man can’t offer a female a ride and a female can’t stop to help someone for fear of it being a trap of some sort!
It makes me so sad that this is our world now, Kim. We simply can’t trust anyone. Horrible. 🙁
A thought provoking post, Mark. You made assumptions about both women, but then revisited them and realized that they may be completely wrong. We should all strive realize that more often – we don’t know a person’s story by just looking at them
His piece reminds me that I too, assume things about people, and how dare I?? You truly don’t know their story or their plight. Sometimes it’s really the opposite of how they appear…
Such a thought-provoking post…I love to people-watch and often wonder if what I assume about the people I am watching is actually true….
I do that TOO Emily!!! I use my imagination and wonder the same thing… and yet, we will never really know. What people ‘present’ in their outward appearance is often NOT what they are living…deep inside.
This really is quite thought provoking. There is such a difference between things we have to do and things we want to do. And also, when we are observing from afar, we make assumptions that aren’t always true. I’ve been surprised several times.
Oh I have TOO Michelle!! I am always convicted of this very thing- assuming something about someone just because of their appearance…
You truly never know.
I often wonder some of those same things. Sometimes I think the people who seem like they would be the most miserable are often the happiest and vice versa. It’s good t be reminded of that every now and then.
I agree Lisa! I often immediately assume someone is unhappy because of what they are doing or how they appear…
You just never know! I picture the jogger in a horrible marriage and the walker with the groceries in this beautiful family full of love…
It just might be.
AMAZING post. I will be thinking of this one all day today. And I find it SO SAD that men can’t offer women a ride. But it is true. Thank you for sharing this with us Chris.-Ashley
Through Mark’s piece, I am reminded that I can’t assume ANYTHING about someone I encounter… I must remember that.
This is a very sobering post. What saddens me the most is the fact that society is so screwy now that even when we want to help someone, we have to think twice because of how it may be perceived. SMH
I know Alison… I know. It’s awful. 🙁 We live in a world where we simply can’t trust anyone. Hate that.
I love this post! It serves to remind me that we don’t know the story behind the person unless they choose to reveal it themselves. We build our facades and our walls of protection, sometimes out of necessity so no one knows what really goes on unless someone takes the time to invest in a life. That’s why I love being a mentor and group facilitator. Thanks for sharing this Chris!
I know you KNOW what this is all about Laurie!! So many facades… for protection or pride. I try to remind myself all the time that I don’t know the story behind the person I see…
Sometimes all it takes is to put yourself in another person’s shoes for a moment and everything can change! Beautiful post Chris!!
I often try to take myself outside of my own perceptions and realize I don’t know the story behind the person, so who am I to judge? I know I naturally assume.. and I shouldn’t.
Absolutely beautiful!
Thanks so much for reading Mark’s piece Lisa!! XOXO
Loved this post, loved that perspective and putting thought into the other person’s circumstance. Well written Mark!
It’s a good reminder that we really can’t assume anything.. . He expressed it perfectly. XOXO
So true, Mark. We can’t ever really know someone’s story. And regardless of the story, it’s all how it’s viewed. Thank you for sharing this!
It’s a convicting truth, isn’t it Meredith? Oh how often I assume something of someone just based on the appearance…
I simply don’t know their story.
What a beautiful post – that definitely makes you think!
Thanks Christina!! It really does put things in perspective, doesn’t it?