My Kiddos…

 I have “pet names” for my kids… doesn’t every mom?  We all have more than one, perhaps.  But mine are very special.  They emulate the characteristics and personality traits of my little cherubs.  They are profoundly accurate and have significance in their lives.  I take pride in creating these labels for each child.  I can’t tell you how incredibly cathartic it is for me to call my son, “PAIN” and my sweet firstborn “High Maintenance”… and what’s funny is that they actually delight in their identities with proud empowerment.   I tend to be that mom that uses humor in a devious and deliberate way.  My kids get it.  It works for us. (Don’t judge)

 But lately, I hit a conundrum of sorts.  You see, I decided to switch the accurate descriptions of each child.  Wow, did they go crazy! You would have thought I insulted them or something…

Cassidy:  “MOM!  I thought I was High Maintenance and Cade was Pain!!”

 Me:  “Well you are being more of a Pain today my dear, so I am switching your names!!  What do you think of that??”

 Cassidy:  “I don’t want to be Pain… aren’t I High Maintenance Mommy??”

 Me:  “Yes honey.  You are truly High Maintenance deep down in your soul.  BUT, you are driving me absolutely crazy and becoming a total PAIN today, hence the switch.”

 Cade:  “HA ha ha HA ha… I’m High Maintenance and YOU are the PAIN!!”

 Me:  “Watch it kid… I will switch you right back to Pain if you keep it up!”

 Cassidy:  “Yeah CADE.  You better watch it and by the way, you are always the PAIN!!!”

 Me:   “In all honesty- you BOTH are ALL OF THE TIME.  Now STOP YELLING!!”

 Cade:  “Well I get to be High Maintenance NOW!”

 Me:  “Yes you do my love.  Be PROUD!”

 The kid is literally beaming with pride…


(Later that night while kissing my daughter goodnight…)


Cassidy:  “Mom, am I still Pain?”

Me:  “Neh, I’ll switch you back to High Maintenance.”

Cassidy:  “Oh GOOD!!  What’s the difference between them anyway?”

 Me:  “Not much hun.  They’re kinda interchangeable.”

 Cassidy:  “Oh.  I thought so…”

  (From the other bedroom…)

 Cade:  “MOM!  Did you just say I am PAIN again?”

 Me:  “YES YOU ARE!  Now go to BED PAIN!!!”

 Cade:  “Yay!  I missed being Pain!!!”


And all was right with the world again.










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  1. Melissa Charlton says

    Hehe!! I told the kids I was going to get tattoos on my butt cheeks of their names. One per cheek. That way I could honestly tell them they were a pain in my butt. Keegan was the right cheek and Kaeli the left! Ahh, the pleasures of parenting!

    • says

      Okay – that is stinkin’ HILARIOUS!!!! What’s even funnier is that I could TOTALLY see you getting those tattoos JUST to make a point! That’s how you ROLL mama!!! Thanks for the laugh, sweat pea!!! 🙂

    • says

      I’m sure you could have watched it any day you have been over, Marcia!!! LOL You know me and my kids sooooo well!! I haven’t posted any funny ones in a while… I miss them too. XOXO… But lucky you! You get my “funny” all the time, now don’t you?! 😉

  2. says

    Haha, that’s too funny! I love that they are both so territorial about their nicknames. I have occasionally called my oldest the “Drama Queen” but it hasn’t quiet stuck yet. Plus, with 3 girls that name pretty much fits each of them….lol! Oh well, back to the drawing board. 😉

  3. says

    This was hilarious! I love how they are attached to their nick names! It’s kind of the same in our house thought too! They each have a name in good fun that they claim to hate – but if I were to call them by another name, they’d miss the pet name I gave them!

    • says

      EXACTLY Ilene! They love our little quirky ways… even when they say they don’t! PS: Praying for you still… let me know how you are, when you can my friend.

  4. says

    I love this! it’s amazing how kids will both embrace and defend who you say they are. I think I’m gonna nick name my kids too…Somehow Pain and High Maintenance seem to fit the bill. lol. Gotta use my creativity!

    • says

      I think Pain and High Maintenance can probably fit any kid’s character, eh??!! Oh, how I love calling them these names… I can’t tell you how cathartic it truly is!! 🙂 Find some good ones!!! Or you are ALWAYS welcome to use ours… always applicable!! lol

    • says

      ABSOLUTELY Jennifer!! I thank GOD for sarcasm every single day. Without it, I would be a raging out of control FOOL!! It’s the best outlet EVER. LOL

  5. says

    So funny that she was upset that she wasn’t high maintenance anymore. I tease my kids that they are each a pain in my something. Nico- pain in my heart, Tommy-pain in my neck, Belle-pain in my head and Gia-pain in my butt since she is always up it. I swear she’d crawl back in the womb if she could.

    • says

      OMGOSH that is HILARIOUS AnnMarie!!! You crack me UP! Are we one and the same or what?! I just love those!! You need to write a post on that very quote:

      Nico- pain in my heart, Tommy-pain in my neck, Belle-pain in my head and Gia-pain in my butt since she is always up it. I swear she’d crawl back in the womb if she could.


    • says

      Thanks so much for taking the time (GOOD GRIEF) to come back and test the comments! I love you girls… I can always count on you, and for that I am so incredibly grateful. 🙂 XOXO….

  6. says

    This post goes to support my theory that if you take something away from someone, even if they didn’t like what it was originally, all of a sudden, that person will want it back.

    I wonder if this will work with my husband and broccoli….

    I may have to give this a shot!

    • says

      Ooooh! How about my husband and dishes??!! I can be all “Hey honey, you can NOT do those dishes. It’s not your job! I took that away from you. Don’t you DARE try to take it back!” Or, how about remembering things: “Honey, I know it means the WORLD to you to always have everything in memory for each day of the week for our family, but I am taking that responsibility away from you. It is not yours anymore.”

      I don’t know. I am not sure he will respond with your prediction. I will give it a try! Get back to me on the broccoli! 😉

      (Thanks so much for stopping by, Lisa!)

  7. says

    This is cute. My pet names aren’t very creative…Mister and Mister-Mister (has nothing to do w/ the band). Also, Stinker, used interchangeably. They are boys and boys are inherently…stinky.

    • says

      Oh I love Mister and Mister Mister!!! That’s hilarious and quite creative in that paradoxical way! LOL But who is who? THAT is the question I want an answer to. Who gets the Double Mister Title??? The oldest? The Youngest? Hmm….. 😉

  8. says

    {Melinda} Chris, I love this! Being able to joke around with my kids is one of my favorite things about them getting older. It really bonds us and those “inside jokes” are what creates intimacy in a family. 🙂

    • says

      It’s true, isn’t it?! My kids love our “ways” and they get it. I love our ways just as much… such a fun playful way of bonding!! And boy, does it feel good to vent about their annoyances in a deliberate disguise!!

  9. says

    Hilarious! I love it that you have a rather sarcastic sense of humor and that your children have picked it up. I can soooooo identify with that! In my family, if you are not being teased about something, you are not being loved. It’s a strange love language to some, but I totally get it Chris! You certainly made me giggle today!

    • says

      I find it so SO cathartic, really… they love it when I call them those names and they also love it when I threaten to throw them out of the house naked in the below zero temps!!! They laugh and always say- “you would never do that mommy!!” I will threaten to “crush them like grapes” and they giggle and get the point. But seriously? It makes me feel SOOOO much better just saying those awful, yet hilarious things. It really is an outlet for my anger! Double blessing! 😉

  10. Tammy says

    HILarious! I can totally see this in my head like one of those “shorts” you see before or after a Disney Pixar movie! LOVE it! Teeheehee, and I love that THEY love it! You’re just the greatest mom Chris! So authentic : )
    And @ Melissa – laughed out loud at your comment! I wanna see pictures when you get the tatts! ; o

    • says

      Oh can’t you just see it now??!!! That is so funny to picture it on the screen. LOVE that!!! Authentic… I know you get that- we just can’t be any other way. We CAN’T! Yes- Melissa is cracking me up! She always has some good doozers!! LOVE that about her!! 🙂 Love you, poopie!

    • says

      I have a feeling when my kids get even older, the nicknames are gonna get really really ugly. Not sure they will be as tickled about them as they are now! 😉

  11. says

    My kids laugh at their nic-names because I recently changed them from the names of primates. Only one is still called Monkey but thats because he is my monkey.

    I wonder if they will keep their nic-names as they get older or they will change…

    I’m loving though how he was excited to be “Pain” again..he’s too cute!

    • says

      Primates! Perfect!!! I wonder if we will change names too… I’m not sure if anything could be more accurate and transcending of time than that of “Pain” and “High Maintenance” though!!! I believe I did pick the perfect names for them! Score one point for mama! LOL So glad you stopped by, Krystal!

  12. says

    Love this! My names are not very creative…either the letters of their first name or a shortened version of their names, which are short to begin with. Your nicknames are great. I have an Overreact, High Maintenance, and Let’s Argue about something that doesn’t matter at all.

    • says

      OMGOSH I love those names!!!! Now you need to use them on a regular basis- my favorite is “Let’s Argue about something that doesn’t matter at all”… although every single word of that name is imperative- perhaps it may be difficult to say that one all the time- nutshell version could possibly be
      “REALLY?” LOL 😉

    • says

      It’s quite wonderful to have nick names for your kiddos- that give you that tiny piece of satisfaction in “name-calling” but under the guise of “cute and silly nick names”. My kids find it hilarious and fun- I find it totally cathartic and expressive. It works both ways! Win/WIN!!! It’s kind of like legalizing cuss words… 😉

  13. says

    Don’t know how I missed this post Chris…but too funny! Your kids are hilarious. I had nick-names for our kids…Kerbear, Sweetie Petey and Snookum Bookum…IKR! Let’s just say we still call Keri Kerbear, but DARE NOT call the boys their nick-names, lol! BUT, PAIN and HIGH-MAINTENANCE could work! Thanks for sharing…brought back memories!

    • says

      Oh how FUNNY Michell!!!! I will pay you five bucks to call your grown boys those names in public!!! HAHAHAHA!!! SO adorable!!! 😉 Glad you caught this one hun!! Thanks so much for always reading my posts… so grateful!! 🙂

    • says

      Buttercup and pumpkin slice are so so ADORABLE!!! Yeah- I have a weird way of showing my kids affection… it’s a twisted blessing, as I get the satisfaction of calling them negative names and they think it’s funny. It’s really so cathartic!! But my kids really are adorable- when they are not a pain and high maintenance! When they are being a pain and high maintenance, I just call it like I see it!!

    • says

      HA! I actually am a nut…ask any of my RL friends Andrea!! A COMPLETE nut! My hubs???? Oh that is unfortunately illegal to publish. LOL

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