Sometimes when you are exhausted and think you are simply too worn to do much else, life takes a twisted turn off the cliff of predictable and pushes you to an entirely new level of survival. Things shift and priorities plunge into ‘crisis’ mode, where minute-by-minute you try to breathe, decide on what next, and do it.
This is where I am.
Just in time for the Holiday.
It can relentlessly leave you in the wake of sudden blows causing crashing crumbling pieces to flood your days and nights, as you attempt to wade through the wreckage and figure out what the hell to do with it all.
I won’t publish what is going on, out of respect for my family. I’m sorry to leave you questioning, but I know you will understand that it’s not my story to tell. I am only a mere part of it and not the main character, to which this traumatic tale would reveal. So I simply ask for your prayers, for strength and endurance. For peace amidst this mess.
I am taking this one hour to pray and write, and then I probably won’t be back for a while. It just depends on~
I know I will climb my way back up onto the mountaintop, once the abyss has been filled. But for now, I dangle with a grasp quite weak. Both physically and mentally and emotionally…
But not spiritually.
I cling to my Light Post in the darkness, and wrap my arms tightly around His unwavering strength and unmoving love. Even when I am sobbing and angry and hate every bit of what life throws at me, I am blessed beyond measure with a bounty of wealth and riches in love.
My fortress of faith was built long ago. And my beloved husband and children are my sanctuary. My precious friends are holding me up and my God will carry me through.
I was going to write a post for Thanksgiving titled: “Love The One You’re With.”
I thought it would be fitting for so many of us Americans who celebrate this Holiday with family members, some of which may not be our ‘first choice’ on the list of favorites. (Didn’t I say that nicely?)
With that said, as you go about your travels and hosting and all the festivities with those you love and those you might care to seat out in the cold dark patio in the sub-temperatures for your beautiful Thanksgiving meal…
I have a little thing I do with my kids that might help.
Cassidy is 11 and Cade is 8. They fight like crazy these days. And as many siblings do, they also laugh uncontrollably together and end up in the same bed every single night because they simply are a comfort to each other when the day is done- and all the fighting and laughing has finished its course.
Cassidy isn’t into hugging or showing any affection to her brother at this point. Unfortunately, that doesn’t work for Cade. He’s a lover by nature, always needing an embrace and will do just about anything to get it. Cade feels neglected by his sister, and his sister thinks he is needy and annoying. It’s been an ongoing ‘not so pretty’ intervention in our home trying to get these two to compromise.
One day, I had had enough. Cade just wanted a hug from Cassidy and was elevating his whining pitch to meet the yelling revolt of his sister.
I said “ENOUGH!! From this day forward, Cassidy you will hold your brother for a full MINUTE every single day until you move out of this house!”
That was weeks ago. Cade makes sure we are fulfilling this command. I time it. She hates it. He loves it.
You have to simply make yourself love the one you’re with. Force yourself to hold them, even when you clearly have no desire. Embrace them, even when they chomp on every nerve buzzing through your seething bits.
So this is MY challenge and perhaps? Yours.
That family member you would prefer never came? That one individual who triggers twitches and needless woes?
Be ‘that person’, who gives more than you thought you could ever give. Who loves, more than you thought you could love. There is a reason for every person in your life, and mine. Make it matter. Give it purpose. Draw from the Light Post you cling to…
And love the one you’re with.
In this season of Gratitude, may you find Grace.