“MOMMY’S TURNING INTO A GRANDMA!!!!”
“NO REALLY!!! SHE’S TURNING INTO A GRANDMA!!”
“HER HAIR IS TURNING WHITE!!! IT’S GROWING EVERYWHERE!!!”
My daughter responds to my defense…..
“No she’s not! Would ya look at this bod? (She rolls her hands down my frame as if selling me for money on the street corner…) She looks like she is in her thirties!!!!”
“BUT LOOK AT ALL THIS WHITE HAIR!!!! (as he grabs my “bod” and climbs up to my head pointing at my lovely skunkies on the side of my head) THAT IS LIKE A GRANDMA!!!”
My husband and I are now laughing and I immediately go to my daughter’s side on this one as I hold her and thank her for her support. My son however, is still not convinced.
One awful, awkward, fleeting and funny moment of innocent opinion and terrifying judgement for us both. I told him he was cuter when he told me I looked “hot in the eighties”….now he’s just pushing it to the limit with the “grandma panic” thing. Really? Am I THAT old already? Or can I just chalk it up to some five-year old’s ineptness and pathetic, distorted observations of the world around him. I mean, he’s only five for crying out loud! What in the world does he know? He’s the one who still pays me to wipe his butt….and and AND, he doesn’t even know all the small case letters of the alphabet! He thinks he knows what “grandma hair” is??????? Well, maybe he should get some lessons on how to gel his own hair back without looking like a goofball! Yeah! And another thing…. If he didn’t keep me up most nights with all the crying, and reflux, and asthma, and night terrors, and bed wetting…just maybe, MAYBE I would have NO “GRANDMA HAIR” at all!!!!!!