The Delicate and Deliberate Deception Lives On…Elf on the Shelf Part 2.

Posted on Nov 29 2012 - 2:49am by momcafe

The Elf is back. The kids have been waiting for him to come since this summer, seriously. Last year, it was consuming their world…and it has continued to devour their minds and hearts ever since. Not one day passed in ALL of November, where one of them didn’t asked when the Elf would come. Not one MINUTE passed since Thanksgiving.

“Maybe Little Kris (the Elf’s name… ie: Kris Kringle Jr.) will be here tonight!! Lets look for him!”

“Mommy, we HAVE to get the book out NOW!!!”

“Where is the book? Please can we see the book and find out when Little Kris comes??”

Etc.

So the Elf came after we got all the decorations out and read the book. It was bigger and better than Christmas Morning…

Cade woke me up way too early looking for it…

“Mommy, I can’t find him! I looked EVERYWHERE! Come help me!”

When the Elf was found…the next hour was full of exciting conversation catching up with “Little Kris”. The kids talked to this little plastic toy for an hour filling him in on the year’s events and all they could share before we raced off to school late because of this “Coming of Little Kris” distraction.

When I picked the kids up after school, Cade looked anxious. He went on to share that his teacher had asked the class if anyone spotted the Elf in their home…

“I didn’t raise my hands even though almost the entire class did! I couldn’t believe they all did that! Don’t they know the Elf will lose his magic if they tell??”

“You better NOT have said anything Cade! If Little Kris loses his magic I will just DIE!!” Screams sister.

“Well, everyone was talking about where they found their elf and I just couldn’t help it! I said it by accident! I wanted to kill myself!” Cade reveals.

“YOU TOLD!!!!??? NOOOOOO!!!!! HOW COULD YOU??” Sister is now sobbing inconsolable tears. Raging anger and growing hysterical.

“I’m sorry Cass!! I didn’t want to!!! It was AN ACCIDENT!!!”

The poor boy was now in tears and realizing the fate of the Elf.

“NO NO NO!!! THE MAGIC IS GONE!!! NO!!!” Sobbing continues.

As we get in the house, Cassidy runs to the Elf still sobbing begging for mercy as though her very life depended on it. Cade ran upstairs and locked his bedroom door; I’m sure falling to his knees begging for the same.

I stood behind Cass holding her and rocking as I pleaded, “Oh Little Kris, please give us grace and keep your magic. Look into this girl’s heart and bless us this once.”

Cass continued to sob.

As I stood there rocking and holding my baby girl (4th grade baby girl, ahem.), all I could think of is…

“THIS IS A TOTAL SCAM! I HATE THIS ELF AND ALL THE DECEITFUL MAGIC IT BRINGS!!!”

I hate lying to my kids and continuing this mighty magical mess. I wanted to turn Cassidy around and look deep into her eyes and tell her everything. Confess it all. Lay it all out for her to see and open her eyes to the nasty unwavering truth.

“Honey, you know the tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny, the Leprechaun, this little Elf, and Santa? All these precious and beloved mystical creatures you believe in with such passion? Well, they just simply don’t exist. It’s all a lie. Mommy and daddy have been lying to you for nine years. You have been played my dear. In the big game of life, there is nothing magical and marvelous. There are only people, and when they try real hard…sometimes they come through for you. But most of the time… you just gotta make your own marvelous magic dear one. I know you are now completely crushed and your spirit will never soar again. I am so sorry to break your heart in half today, but better me than that mean kid at school. Better me, the one who is responsible for the deceptive journey I led you on every single year. This Elf? He’s a little half stuffed-half plastic TOY that does nothing but sits in the crawl space until daddy and I have the energy to get him out and place him somewhere in the house…Every. Single. Night. Santa? WE are Santa! May I simply ask for a “thank you” for all those presents you thought were from HIM? Easter bunny gifts….yep, all us. You’re welcome. Tooth Fairy? Daddy drew every one of those precious notes to you. Every special little gift came from us. I know you believed with all your heart that they existed. I am so sorry sweet child. Open your eyes to our world and take the first steps into reality. Your wonder is forever gone.”

Instead I said…

“Oh THANK YOU Little Kris for believing in my kids and keeping your magic!!”

And Cassidy grabbed her book and with her sniffles and dried up tears, sat on the floor and started reading to Little Kris for the next 30 minutes. Then she told Little Kris all about her dance class and showed him her routines.

Cade came downstairs and I told him the magic was restored. I hugged him and told him how difficult it must have been to hear all the other Elf stories. I would have shared too.

He ran over to the Elf and thanked him for his grace.

And the delicate and deliberate deception lives on…

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35 Comments so far. Feel free to join this conversation.

  1. thedoseofreality November 29, 2012 at 3:42 am - Reply

    I know that Lisa will want to read this one, too, because she hates the elf with a fire burning passion! Thank God you solved the problem…and honestly, I know this is our last year with Emma and as hard as that is, in some ways it will be easier. Like then it will make sense that Santa can’t bring her an iPhone, because those things are pricey man! ;)-Ashley
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    • momcafe November 29, 2012 at 3:58 am - Reply

      Oh just ANOTHER reason why I love y’all SO much!! There. I said it out loud… “Y’ALL”!!! See? I’m even talking like you gals now!! ;) I think one more year and maybe, possibly…my girl will succomb to reality. But I joke that she will be an adult and still believe… she’s just that innocent! Poor girl will undoubtedly die a little inside when she learns the horrible truth. (sigh)

  2. The Dose of Reality November 29, 2012 at 3:55 am - Reply

    Oh, how I despise the Elf.
    Anything that requires me to do something every single day and also elicits hysterical heartfelt tears by children he has devastated with his stupid rules is heinous. (My daughter has lost it over an elf touching episode causing him to lose his magic, too).

    Plus he’s totally creepy. The other magical entities leave kids gifts to make a special time of year (or special event like losing a tooth)even more magical and special. This a-hole is just supposed to be creeping around reporting bad behavior. What a jerk. –Lisa
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    • momcafe November 29, 2012 at 4:03 am - Reply

      YES YES YES!!!! I mean SERIOUSLY!!! Only by night TWO did we forget and panic in the morning to run around and grab the dang thing to throw it somewhere else!! AhhhHHHHAAAAHHHH! I think I might have a good idea…we can tell the kids that because they are being sooooo good, the Elf left our home to go find some kids that are NOT being good! Oh wait. That could only work if our kids WERE being good. nevermind.

  3. Britton November 29, 2012 at 3:57 am - Reply

    LMAO! This is HILLARIOUS! This year is our first year doing Elf on the Shelf and I can’t wait to see how my daughters (4,2) will react to it!
    Britton recently posted..Can we discuss my Black Friday Experience?My Profile

    • momcafe November 29, 2012 at 4:06 am - Reply

      AW… you’re a little Elf Virgin are ya? Well JUST wait! The fun has JUST begun my dear!!! Come back at the end of the season or perhaps next year (part 3 I’m sure!) and check in with me then. I just simply can’t WAIT to hear how it all is going for ya then, my sweet mama! ;) SO glad you read it and got a kick out of the story! GOOD. LUCK. TO. YOU. lol

  4. michelle @ this little light November 29, 2012 at 11:25 am - Reply

    In the past I’ve simply told The Boy that our elf was lazy because there was no way I was spending time thinking of different ways to move him around. I actually grew up with an elf as a part of my mother’s Christmas decor and never once did she suggest he was supposed to get into some mischief, so I’m not sure when all this craziness started! Anyway, don’t feel guilty, girl. It’s sweet to have this “magic” now … they’ll forgive you! :)
    michelle @ this little light recently posted..Whatchoo-Wish-You-Were-Wearin’ Wednesday : Christmas CocktailsMy Profile

    • momcafe November 29, 2012 at 2:20 pm - Reply

      Aw, thanks Michelle. I needed to hear that! I do worry the kids will feel so deceived and betrayed. I will tell them to wait until they are parents, and THEN they will get it. As for the mischievous Elf thing… We just don’t “go there”! Who has that kind of energy and time? Apparently many do as I see all the different things parents do with them…so cute and creative! But we are lucky if we actually move the thing too! I love the “lazy elf” label. Brilliant! ;)

  5. Marcia November 29, 2012 at 1:02 pm - Reply

    So Hilarious! The difference between our parenting styles reflected in the fact that the “elf” has never graced our household, Santa is “paid” by mom and dad (to help curtail Christmas wish lists) and the tooth fairy often is careless with the $$ and it often falls on the floor (that Mom actually drops from her pocket in the morning when the money that can’t be found under the pillow:) If there were a “Mom of the Year” award – you would be a frontrunner for sure!

    • momcafe November 29, 2012 at 2:23 pm - Reply

      It just hit me…maybe THIS is why your daughter is so well grounded and always ALWAYS pleasant to be around! Our family always talks about how much we love that girl and how lovely she is. You my friend did it the RIGHT WAY!!!!! I mean look at all the spoiled entitled children everywhere!! Congratulations on being the greatest parent EVER!!! :)

  6. Candice November 29, 2012 at 1:38 pm - Reply

    As wondrous and special as that little creepy man seems to be for your children, you couldn’t pay me to start dealing with that craziness in our house!! LOL!! That was so funny! May the magic continue for you all……suckers!!! :) My heart was breaking picturing Cass sobbing and the shame Cade was feeling, omg! So relieved all was made well :) Too funny….

    • momcafe November 29, 2012 at 2:25 pm - Reply

      I just got the BEST idea!!! Guess what is on the way via mail to you and your precious little angels!!! THE ELF ON THE SHELF!!! Oh yeah…worth every NON-sale penny!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Let the madness begin dear sis! (I am beaming…)

  7. Eli@coachdaddy November 29, 2012 at 2:23 pm - Reply

    Wow, white people sure do get themselves in a bind ;) This Elf stuff is total madness. I’m grateful my youngest would rather me spend time baking cookies than positioning a Christmas toy every night, although, I can imagine the possibilities … sitting him on a Barbie toilet with chocolate-covered raisins inside, spread eagle on the floor next to an empty beer bottle, or in a cage after spending the night in the pokey.

    Wait, maybe I should reconsider … meh, they probably don’t make a multi-cultural elf for a home like mine.
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    • momcafe November 29, 2012 at 2:35 pm - Reply

      http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images?_adv_prop=image&fr=mcafee&sz=all&va=elf+shelf
      Oh you CRACK me up!!! You would totally ROCK the Elf gig!!! If I had the technical skills to attach a picture of an elf that might suit you…I would! But this is the link to all kinds of images and I do believe there are a few with darker skin lurking in homes everywhere! However…I do believe you are ON to something Eli!!! Write a letter to the Elf factory over at PO box North Pole and tell them about the need for diversity ion the Magical Maddening Elf population. I mean come on!! BRILLIANT move. Then ask for a cut in the profit it brings in sales. ;)

  8. Melissa November 29, 2012 at 2:42 pm - Reply

    HAHAHAHAHA!!! Your kids are spectacular! They are soooo funny!! Go on pinterest and search elf on the shelf. There are a million great ideas for the elf, some are really funny!! I want to do them with K&K, but we will wait for Fagan to get old enough. There was one where you write Santa for magic glitter to sprinkle on the elf for if you touch him. The glitter was in a little ziplock bag (like what comes on clothes for extra buttons).

    Oh the drama!! LOVE IT

    • momcafe November 29, 2012 at 3:40 pm - Reply

      AH…Pinterest! The things I have seen and read are truly beyond anything we can and would do with our maddening Elf!!! But some of those ideas are brilliant!! The glitter deal is one that we MUST look into though!! Oh yes, Fagan will breath a whole new spirit into your house with that delicious deceit!!! What fun that will be!!!!!

  9. another jennifer November 30, 2012 at 2:03 am - Reply

    Oh my, Chris! What an elf adventure you had! I’m starting to feel guilty about holding the whole “he’ll lose his magic” thing over the kids. It kind of seems cruel, doesn’t it?

    And now I have to find a new spot for that darn Elfie…
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    • momcafe November 30, 2012 at 3:07 am - Reply

      Elfie! SO cute!! Cassidy’s first fish she named “swimmer”. Our kids are so creative!!! LOL But seriously now…. it is very very very cruel. We are betraying our little angels’ trust and eventually we will have to push them over the cliff of wonderland into the cold wonderless world. Perhaps I am thinking this too deeply… but I fear the deepseated resentment and loathing may be unraveled well into their adulthood. Aw shucks! It’s kinda fun though, right?

  10. AnnMarie November 30, 2012 at 7:04 pm - Reply

    You read my blog so you know how I feel about the whole elf thing. I HATE IT! So much unnecessary stress. So much grief over something that someone somewhere thought was a good idea. I am convinced it is someone that does NOT have kids.
    AnnMarie recently posted..Short Post: Not TodayMy Profile

    • momcafe November 30, 2012 at 9:44 pm - Reply

      Or maybe the mom DID have kids and thought, “Oh this will be the perfect remedy for them behaving all month!” And then she realized after it all unraveled into an exhausting mess…that something went very very wrong with this idea. And yet didn’t realize it in time to get it off the factory line. I mean how many times have we moms thought of something “brilliant” and then slowly realized it was a total and complete FLOP!! Now she’s making money BIGTIME and her kids are all grown…I picture her on some tropical island sipping drinks and laying in the sun, with a bit of a smurk on her face. IDK. (I can’t remember but feel like it was a mom who thought this whole scam up…) OR…maybe she is one of those SUPER MOMS that makes everything homeade and sews their clothes and everything…so the Elf was just a cute little bonus to their perfect little day! IDK. My imagination is starting to unravel, so I will stop.

  11. Kari November 30, 2012 at 8:08 pm - Reply

    Oh my! Too funny! I think I’m the only one here that has never heard of this mysterious “Elf on a Shelf”…. I must look this up.
    Alas, I must admit I am the giant party pooper. I never told my kids that Santa or the Easter bunny were real. I just didn’t start the game…. Please don’t hate me. SOOOOOOOOOOOOO many moms have hated me because of that! I told my kids not to ruin the game for other kids who believe they are real, but I’m afraid my kids have told friends a few times… “Ya, know, Santa isn’t real. It’s just a story.” – arguments between children ensued and I cringe, while I wait for the next mad mom phone call.
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    • momcafe November 30, 2012 at 9:35 pm - Reply

      You are MY HERO!!!! You can sleep at night can’t you? You will never have to tell your kids you have been lying to them for their entire childhood! Brilliant. ;) I wish I could have the foresight to think of that when we started this whole gig. However, (just a tiny teeny however…I would change the font but don’t know how to!) I must confess that I would be terrified to have my kids around yours!! How easy it is for kids to just speak the truth in an impulsive moment! I still call you my hero. :)

  12. Sue Theimer November 30, 2012 at 10:02 pm - Reply

    Can I have one??

    • momcafe November 30, 2012 at 10:13 pm - Reply

      No.

    • momcafe November 30, 2012 at 10:14 pm - Reply

      HA! Sorry…it just felt so good to say that!!! Now…if only I had the strength to say that to my kids and not my mommy. lol ;)

  13. Mothering From Scratch December 3, 2012 at 8:32 pm - Reply

    {Melinda} I must say, I am so glad that my kids are too old for Elf on a Shelf. I never liked the whole deceptive element of the Santa, Easter Bunny thing. We never played it up much in my house. That must sound like I’m a killjoy! But it didn’t seem to bother them. They were just happy to get gifts — they didn’t care who delivered them! :)
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    • momcafe December 3, 2012 at 9:23 pm - Reply

      Well that is awesome you didn’t dive into the deception! I am swimming pretty deep over here, but trying not to drown in it… the focus of the season is loud and clear in my home!! Jesus, Santa, Elf in THAT order. lol

  14. OneMommy December 5, 2012 at 4:23 pm - Reply

    When I first heard about the elf on the shelf, I was against it. Santa, Santa I can do because there was a St. Nick, and I believe that everyone has a chance to be a Santa if they open their eyes and hearts and give. So even though the ones my kids believe in may not exist, the idea does, to me.
    The elf? Not so.
    But…… my daughter is at this point where having an elf is starting to look good….maybe it will help her try not to get into trouble all day long. (I can hope, right?) And then there are friends who have elves — and then my sister got one for her son and now she is sending us one. So, I guess we are getting an elf, sigh.
    OneMommy recently posted..Pictures for the Christmas CardMy Profile

    • momcafe December 5, 2012 at 5:08 pm - Reply

      Oh dear… you will be stepping into a whole new world of crazy. ;) I totally get your thinking. This Elf thing has no virtuous message. Just one more magical game to play…

      • OneMommy December 10, 2012 at 6:16 pm - Reply

        Yes, I stepped into it all right. But my daughter knew it couldn’t move on it’s own, and I wound up telling her the truth when she asked. Now it’s just a game.
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        • momcafe December 10, 2012 at 6:39 pm - Reply

          Oh how I envy you!!! The truth will set me free…ahh….how I long to tell the truth!!! :) For now, I will play the lying game over here. Sleep well my friend… I know you will!! ;)

  15. Jill of PJgamers December 6, 2012 at 8:11 am - Reply

    I don’t do the elf.
    We play the “Santa game”. Really, that’s what we call it. The kids know that if they play along then “Santa” will bring them gifts. but if they stop playing along the game will end. I think my youngest doesn’t really get it yet. Her brother will help her, though. One nice thing about calling it a game is that I don’t feel like I’m lying. Plus, I don’t really know at what age the kids figured it out…cuz they’re all still playing along.
    Once I had to sign a note my son wrote to the tooth faerie confirming that he’d accidentally swallowed his tooth. Thank heavens she accepted the note!
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    • momcafe December 6, 2012 at 1:38 pm - Reply

      LOVE that! The Santa game… briliant!! Wish I thought of that years ago! SO cute about the toothfairy note! I honestly can’t wait for it all to end. It was fun when the kids were little ones, but as they grow older, there is this growing awareness of my deception and how it will impact their hearts. Maybe I’m over thinking it… eh?

  16. Kathy at kissing the frog December 7, 2012 at 4:55 am - Reply

    Oh my gosh – don’t get me started on all the lies! I can’t keep up with them all – Santa, The Elf, The Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny. It is exhausting! I think when you become a parent, they should hand you a manual in the hospital detailing all the lies that every parent is supposed to tell, just to keep them consistent.

    And my third grader still believes, too – for now. ;)
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    • momcafe December 7, 2012 at 2:12 pm - Reply

      I KNOW!! As the kids get older, it feels more awful to keep lying… I think you and I and AnnMarie and Ashley are all in “waiting” for the truth to set us free!! Will see who ends up going first! :)

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