13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
I had an incredible moment of self-revelation and acceptance the other night. It truly was a powerful turn within. If you missed it, read it here.
I have always felt drawn to Psalm 139, as it speaks to my heart and calls out my name.
It calls out yours, too…
Oh dear readers… read it. Read it again. And again. Take it in. These words are mighty powerful.
Truth. Love. Like no other.
Our Heavenly Father created every piece and part of us. We are “wonderfully complex”, are we not? His workmanship is “Marvelous” in us. He watched as we were “woven together in the dark of the womb” as He saw us “Before we were born”. He “recorded every day in His Holy Book and every moment was laid out before a single day had passed.”
Do you see what I see? Do you feel what I feel? Oh, how that speaks to my heart like no other verse in the bible.
Every one of us. Each and every one of us…
We are His Creation.
Were already lined by Him.
Our pieces and parts were designed and designated to us by the Maker of Heaven and Earth.
He’s that personal.
He also forgives all our human downfalls, through all the vulnerable twists and turns through all things in this world that are not worthy of Him. Through Jesus, He has given us His Grace. And I am in awe of this every day, as I cling to that truth.
But here is what I have come to discover.
Do I love myself as much as He loves me?
I whisper a shameful “no”.
Because in the corners of my soul are dark places that hide beneath His Grace. Memories and choices made and impulsive selfish emotions that ring and echo through my heart. He knows all about them, and yet He still loves me.
But do I still love me?
After what happened the other night, I realize that I have never truly been at peace with all my “stuff”. Perhaps I have tried all my life to make up for my errors and my wayward ways…
I hated those parts of me. And I cringed every time I thought of them, in that awful humiliating self-loathing way. When I go “there”- I always lift them up to God to take hold of them. I surrender to His Mighty Mercy…
And I go on, with a tender ache pushed back down to those corners of my soul.
Can anyone relate? I wonder…
That night when I had my new-found revelation, something different happened. After I surrendered it all to God, I continued to leave every tiny broken piece dangling outside of me, instead of pushing it back down. I embraced those shadows lurking behind my eyes. I shined a new light of love and acceptance and pride in every single ugly part of me. I ignited a passion I never knew existed. A new kind of love…
Because I am who I am, and it is what it is.
(That’s where you all say “AMEN!”)
Somehow, in me came a new profound dignity. And I don’t believe I have ever felt so liberated in all my life. Released from my own captivity- I am free to be me.
All of me.
Messy, messy me.
Oh please try it my friends! Go “there” and find those dark shadows and shine your beautiful loving and accepting light on them all!
You are who you are, and it is what it is.
Oh, I certainly don’t like those heavy-duty debilitating and sometimes destructive decisions in my life. I want to change so much of me for the better. But I stand convicted and convinced that although there is work to be done, I can still love every part of me along the way…
Oh sweet friends, I pray you can experience this for yourselves!
Embrace His Grace.
Embrace yours too.