Parenting is hard. So hard. And we all have different ideas and perceptions and ways of doing our best to raise our kids. I have discovered through the years, that the hardest part of parenting is letting go of expectations. There is this notorious “rule book of raising kids” that I seem to not follow most of the time. The ages and stages and phases that we are commanded to track and ensure our children are successfully achieving… get blurry over here in our house. Perhaps it’s because my first born was never ever on track. Her entire life, she was behind. So many therapies and doctors terrified me with such drastic differences compared to ‘other healthy babies’… and after the trips to Children’s hospital for physical therapy 3 times a week .. and the home care occupational therapy day after day… and the speech therapy week after week… she still never ever made it to ‘there’. And most of you know, her physical health was constantly unresolved as well. Being a first time mother, I was terrified and discouraged constantly… feeling the pressure to produce what my child could not. The demands of her development seemed to determine her success. I was desperate to get her ‘there’.
Somewhere along the way, I discovered the better part of parenting. Letting go of expectations that forced a suffocating grip on my heart. With both my kids, I finally grew confident in knowing that they will survive if they aren’t perfectly on track. And with that release…
I am liberated to love them exactly where they’re at. Not holding out for ‘there’, but embracing ‘here’.
No worrying. No fierce judgment. No conditions or harsh decisions.
I just meet them here. In this place. Where they’re stuck. In this phase.
And love them through it.
Come read more about this over at my sweet friend Tricia’s place, Raising Humans. She invited me over to share my thoughts on The Better Part of Parenting, in her guest series: “Growing Together”. And while you’re there, take a look around. Tricia’s words will inspire you!